


(you're gonna wanna be) my best friend

by icarusrises



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, childhood friends to enemies(ish) to lovers babey!!, obviously the rest of the gang is here too, the readers can have a little hizzie...as a treat :)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 36,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22876969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusrises/pseuds/icarusrises
Summary: and maybe, josie thinks, it's the best way to be loved — silently, but fiercely, in a way that's still unabashed and plain for everyone to see; loved in the way that her best friend (has and always will) loves her.orjosie and penelope are best friends until they're not. and then they're something in between...until they're not.
Relationships: Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 116
Kudos: 488





	1. i.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i only recently binged this show so i am hella late to the party but i love these two so at least i've arrived late with the gift of fic!!
> 
> title from "best friend" by rex orange county, which served as some good ol' inspo.
> 
> i probably didn't edit this very well so pls forgive any of my egregious errors!

The first time Josie ever gets separated from Lizzie, they're six years old and in Miss Franklin's first grade class.

Up until the moment Miss Franklin told Lizzie she'd be sitting at the red table instead of at the blue table with her twin sister, Josie actually liked the woman. She had long curly red hair and a smile that was warm and she wore a yellow shirt — and yellow is Josie's _favorite_ color. She just knew Miss Franklin was going to be her favorite teacher and that first grade would be amazing. But then she just _had_ to go and separate them.

You see the issue is, Josie isn't like Lizzie. She's quiet and shy, always preferring to let Lizzie do all the talking. They were a package deal, so any friends Lizzie made ended up being Josie's friends, too, by default. But now she was all alone at the blue table, staring sadly at the untouched coloring sheet in front of her while her twin was over at the red table, laughing with the other kids as they built structures out of plastic blocks.

Lizzie was going to have a whole new slew of friends this year while Josie was going to have none. And it's all Miss Franklin's fault.

Even though her mom and dad say she should never hate anyone, Josie _hates_ Miss Franklin for doing this to her.

"Do you need a crayon?" A small voice from Josie's left gets her to look away from the red table. She was so concerned with paying attention to what Lizzie was doing and thinking of how she could possibly convince Miss Franklin to let her sit with her sister, she barely noticed the other three kids at their four grouped desks.

The girl next to her had the darkest hair Josie had ever seen. It reached her shoulders, kept neatly out of her face by a yellow headband that Josie was suddenly very interested in. Her eyes were nearly the same color as the green crayon she held in front of Josie's face.

She smiles, a tooth missing from her bottom row which only makes Josie smile since she was missing one of her own teeth from her top row. When Josie remains silent and unmoving, the girl continues, "You can borrow some of mine, if you want. My mom bought me a big pack so that I could share with whoever I want!"

Josie tentatively reaches out and takes the green crayon from the girl's grasp. She didn't feel much like coloring, so she just held the crayon between her fingers while the girl kept talking.

"Did you read my name tag?" She asks before pointing at the decorated slip of paper taped to her desk that had her name in the neat bubble lettering Miss Franklin had written everyone's name tags in. Josie cranes her neck, not daring to try and pronounce her name. The girl must know she has something of a difficult name because she just laughs and takes the crayon right from Josie's hand before replacing it with an orange one. "I needed the green. And my name is Penelope."

Josie swallows, trying to gather the nerve to speak. She wishes she wasn't so shy. If Lizzie were here, she would've made this girl her best friend by now.

"My name's Josette," she manages to squeak out. She doesn't know why she told this girl her _full_ name when her name tag says Josie. 

Penelope stops her furious coloring to purse her lips and raise an eyebrow at Josie. "Jo..sette?"

Josie nods before adding, "Everyone just calls me Josie, though."

"Jo...sette. Jo...sie," Penelope straightens in her seat as if a bright idea had come to her. "Can I call you JoJo?"

"Sure," Josie grins for the first time since Miss Franklin so coldly separated her from her twin, who she hadn't actually thought about since Penelope started talking to her.

She was secretly worried, though. What if Penelope sees how shy Josie is and doesn't want to be her friend anymore? What if she talks to Lizzie at recess and realizes she had made friends with the wrong twin? What if by lunch, Josie loses the only real friend she's ever made?

When Penelope speaks again, Josie wonders if it were possible her new friend could be a witch because she totally read her mind. "You and me are friends now, JoJo! _Allll_ the way until I say we're not, okay?"

That made Josie grin even harder. She made a friend all by _herself_. And not just any friend, either, but a friend with a huge lopsided smile that made Josie feel happy and a yellow headband that Josie thought was really _so_ pretty and eyes a color that would always remind her of today — the day she proved she could do things without her twin.

Maybe she didn't need Lizzie's help to make this year fun after all.

* * *

Josie makes _two_ friends without her sister's help and she was pretty proud of herself.

The first is a boy named Milton Greasly who likes to be called MG and once made Josie laugh so hard milk came out of her nose. He's really funny and _really_ smart and sometimes makes up silly songs at their table when they're all supposed to be working on math. He wears glasses that are too big for his face and sweaters that remind her of her dad and always lets Josie have some of his Cheetos at lunch, which she never eats anyway. She always ends up giving them to the second — and most special — friend she made all on her own.

They had only been in school for a couple of weeks when Josie decided Penelope Park is without a doubt her _best_ friend.

(Besides Lizzie, of course.)

With her, Josie never worries about being too shy or too quiet because Penelope talks _a lot_. She tells Josie about everything — what she had for dinner the night before, what color headband she thinks she's gonna wear the next day, how _badly_ she wants to learn how to ride a bike. But, more than that, Penelope is never content to just sit and talk Josie's ear off. She always begs for the quieter girl to actually respond to her. She asks Josie what she and Lizzie had for dinner, or what color headband she thinks she should wear, or if Josie thinks she can convince her dad to teach _her_ to ride a bike since her own father was too busy traveling for business to teach her himself.

When she's with her, Josie feels like she does when she's around Lizzie only it's...different. She tries to explain it once to her dad when she tells him all about her new best friend but she can't find the right words. Her dad only laughs and says how happy he is she's making new friends. Lizzie doesn't stop pouting the entire car ride home from school.

By the time fourth grade rolled around, Josie and Penelope were more inseparable than the Saltzman twins were.

As soon as their dad dropped them off at school before heading over to the big kids' school for work, Josie would tell Lizzie she'll see her when class starts before running off to find Penelope. She used to feel sort of bad about it, leaving her twin — because twins are supposed to stick together always, right? — but Lizzie had other friends that weren't Josie and she didn't seem to feel bad whenever she left her to go be with them. So after a while, Josie's uneasiness about abandoning Lizzie gave way to the excitement she felt every time she knew she was going to see her dark-haired friend again.

Josie nearly _sprints_ to class today since the previous Thursday Penelope's mom had picked her up early (like _before_ lunch) so they could go visit her dad in London that weekend. Josie had been excited for her, but also a bit sad she wouldn't be able to see her for almost _four_ days.

She had learned that weekend that she never wanted to be without her best friend for that long ever again.

When she spotted a familiar yellow headband resting atop a head of dark hair, Josie could barely contain herself.

"Penelope!"

The girl in question looks up from the book on her desk (she loved to read _for fun_ before class started, but only Josie was allowed to know that; it was their little secret) and turns toward her best friend who was currently barreling toward her. Josie rounds the desks, going to hug her when something gleams and twinkles in the sunlight shining through the classroom window and stops her clean in her tracks.

Penelope must have noticed her reaction and knew exactly what caused it. She pushes her hair back and turns her head to the left and the right so Josie could get a better look at what she's currently gaping at.

"Do you like them?" And Josie knows Penelope is really smart, but that was a really dumb question. _Of course_ she likes the two tiny diamonds now adorning the shorter girl's ear lobes. "My mom let me get them done before we left London! What do you think?"

And suddenly Josie gets a...weird feeling.

"You look really pretty, Penelope," she answers but —

It was like the time she tried explaining how Penelope made her feel to her dad. There was _something_ she was trying to say but didn't know the proper words for it. It was frustrating. For as quiet as she was, Josie didn't like to be misunderstood by anyone, let alone by her own father or her best friend. But she just didn't know how to properly express herself. Not yet, at least.

Penelope smiles so big the corners of her eyes crinkle and Josie bites the inside of her cheek for some reason. Her face feels warm. Maybe Mr. Isaac raised the temperature in the room since the Fall weather had made the entire school kind of chilly.

"Thanks!" Their classmates were starting to filter in so Penelope quickly shoves her book into her purple backpack. She leans on her desk, her chin rested on her propped up hand. "You would look really pretty if you had your ears pierced, too. You should ask your dad to take you."

Josie scoffs. Her dad would never go for that. Lizzie had already tried. Multiple times.

"Are you saying I don't look really pretty now?" She teases. Penelope smirks, green eyes shining. There goes that weird feeling in Josie's stomach again.

"Nah," she sighs, leaning back in her chair as Mr. Isaac comes in and instructs everyone to take out their science homework. "You're always pretty to me, JoJo."

Before Josie can respond — what would she even _say_ to that? — MG slides into his desk to the right of Penelope and leans over to insert himself in the girls' conversation.

"Nice bling, Double P!" He winks, motioning to her earrings.

"Why thank you, Milton." Penelope flips her hair over her shoulder, her cheeks betraying her by tinting the slightest pink.

Now Josie likes MG, he _is_ one of her closest friends not named Penelope after all, and it's not like she's _jealous_ it's just —

It's just that suddenly Josie wants to say something, anything, to make Penelope giggle louder and blush harder than MG's just made her. She knows she doesn't have to compete for the dark-haired girl's attention, but she wants to make sure MG knows it too.

Before she can say anything stupid, though — something along the lines of reminding MG (and Penelope) of the time he ate so much candy on Halloween he threw up and took a nap wearing only the bottom half of his Superman costume and how _she's_ never done anything remotely that embarrassing — Lizzie slides into her desk behind MG, takes one look at Penelope and groans, loud and overdramatic.

"Seriously? _You_ got your ears pierced before me?" Lizzie scoffs and turns her attention to Josie, whose desk is in front of Penelope's. "We're telling dad about this when we get home. I'm not going another week without having pierced ears."

Penelope holds up her mechanical pencil and looks toward Lizzie with a mischievous smirk. "Give me five bucks and I'll pierce them for you right now."

Lizzie rolls her eyes. "Josie, why are you even friends with her again?"

"Because I'm awesome," Penelope (correctly) answers on Josie's behalf. "And because I have pierced ears."

This — Lizzie and Penelope's bickering — has become more of a thing recently. Josie and Lizzie's separate friend groups are slowly starting to merge the older they get which means new dynamics are being introduced and the one between her twin and her best friend isn't going too smoothly. Josie knows Lizzie doesn't _hate_ Penelope, she just isn't used to being in Josie's presence and not being the center of her attention. It was one thing to just _know_ how close Penelope and Josie were, but to actually witness it and be on the peripheral of it all was something totally new for Lizzie.

So Josie knows when they bicker it's just because Lizzie's territorial and Penelope likes riling the blonde up. It's all harmless, really, because neither one of them are like Josie. Lizzie knows no matter how close Josie and Penelope get, she'll never replace her as Josie's sister. And Penelope knows no matter how much attention Josie has to shower Lizzie in sometimes, she still remains an ever important person in Josie's inner circle. They're both confident in their positions in Josie's life and she envies that about them both because sometimes she (stupidly) questions her role in theirs.

Whenever Lizzie makes some backhanded comment about Josie's friendship with Penelope she wonders if she's being neglectful, if she's pushing her twin away. Whenever MG makes Penelope laugh so hard she snorts, Josie wonders if the fairytale is over and Penelope's finally realized there are much cooler people out there with personalities much more akin to hers to be friends with.

But then all those insecurities are squashed when Lizzie slips into Josie's bed in the middle of the night because she can't sleep and the only way she'll remotely get close to being able to is if she's cuddled against her sister.

And Penelope, well — she has her own way of making Josie feel secure in her position as her one and only best friend.

Later that day during lunch Penelope kicks MG and Kaleb from their group's table under the excuse of needing _girl talk_. She lets Lizzie stay, but Lizzie being Lizzie ends up following the boys to go enjoy their cafeteria chicken nuggets at a different table — _"a cool table for people without pierced ears who aren't pretentious!"_ , Lizzie makes a point to say before she leaves Josie and Penelope alone. 

So it's just the two of them, sat across from each other sharing stories as if they've been apart for years instead of just three and a half days.

And that's the thing, isn't it? The thing that Josie can always count on — that Penelope is always going to choose her. No matter how many barbs Lizzie throws her way, or how many compliments MG showers her in, or even no matter whatever it is she gets up to when she goes overseas to see her dad, Penelope always comes right back to Josie.

It's times like these when Josie remembers this and feels a bit guilty for even questioning her own importance in Penelope's life.

Because the simple fact is, she'll always be Penelope's first choice.

(Just like Penelope will always be hers.)

* * *

The summer before eighth grade, the entire gang goes to the same summer camp for the first time ever.

Normally Lizzie and Josie will attend one while MG goes to some academic themed camp, and Kaleb and Penelope both go off to spend their summers on vacations with their families, meaning the group of them are left out of contact with each other for at least a month and a half.

That was all, of course, going to change this summer.

Josie was excited to spend a whole _month_ of summer — mornings, afternoons _and_ nights — with her friends, but she was especially excited to spend all that time with Penelope. It was one thing to always see the girl at school, and talk with her on the phone for hours after school, but to wake up with her and go to sleep with her and spend the _entire day_ with her? The only person Josie's ever done that with is Lizzie and her twin has still not quite managed to give Josie the same weird feeling her best friend does.

However, all of the excitement of finally being able to spend a summer with Penelope, and everyone else, of course, turned out to be for nothing seeing as how everything changed a measly two days after they arrived.

Hope Mikaelson was a new girl who'd just moved to town. She was pretty and smart, and a little standoffish but everyone seemed to like her. A lot.

Everyone except Lizzie.

So being the rational nearly-thirteen year old she is, Lizzie decided the only logical step was to spend the summer getting back at this Hope girl seemingly for just existing. And being the good sister she is, Josie half-agreed to help.

"Just — " Josie nearly trips over a fallen branch as she walks. She and Lizzie are making their way back to one of the girls' cabins to cut holes in Hope's socks while everyone else is in the craft cabin making potholders for their parents. "Look, I'll help you prank this girl, Liz, but just don't expect me to spend all my time doing it. Me and Penelope have plans for this summer, okay?"

Lizzie scoffs and Josie can practically hear the eye roll in her voice. "What plans? You two finally gonna get _married_?"

Josie stops. She knows it's just harmless teasing, as is much of what comes out of Lizzie's mouth, but it strikes a nerve in the brunette and she doesn't know why.

After a few more steps, Lizzie notices her twin isn't following her and turns to see why. When she sees the look on Josie's face, she sighs and folds her arms over her chest. "It was a _joke_ , Josette."

"I know that, _Elizabeth_." Josie snaps, mirroring her sister's stance.

"C'mon, Jo, we're almost _thirteen_ now and everyone's finally starting to date. How are you ever gonna get a boyfriend if you spend all your time with _Penelope Park_? Who — by the way — is definitely gonna get a boyfriend before you and will probably end up ditching you."

Josie frowns, even deeper than before. Why would Lizzie say that? What had she heard?

The blonde walks up to her, reaching up to straighten the bow atop Josie's head. Her _twintuition_ must have kicked in because she answers the question Josie didn't ask. "According to Kaleb, MG is planning on asking Penelope to be his girlfriend and she'll probably say yes. So would you rather spend the summer watching those two play tonsil hockey, or would you rather actually do something productive like help your sister get rid of that pest Mikaelson?"

And _that_ was certainly news to her. Josie had noticed MG was acting weirdly friendly around Penelope lately, but she really didn't think it was because he was trying to get a girlfriend out of it.

Josie folds her arms over her chest, feeling defensive for some reason. "What makes you think she's gonna say yes?"

"It's Penelope. She kinda loves attention and what's more attentive than a boyfriend?" Lizzie shrugs off the conversation and grabs Josie's wrist, tugging her toward the cabin Hope has been assigned. "Now come on. You need to forget about your little friend moving on and focus on _Project Hope-nihilation_."

Josie, not in the mood to get on with this prank but not in the mood to argue with Lizzie against it, just sighs and follows her sister to the cabin. She‘s quiet the entire time they're ruining Hope's socks. It's not like she would've found it to be much fun anyway, but she still can't shake the worry that while she's _here_ , Penelope is back at the cabins starting down a path with MG that would appear to have no room for Josie. She wants her friend to be happy, and if MG makes her happy then so be it, but there's just something about the entire situation that's making Josie feel queasy.

When she and Lizzie sneak back to their own cabin, Josie heads straight for the bottom bunk of her bed that she, of course, shares with Penelope. Seeing that she isn't here makes Josie wanna curl up underneath her blanket and stay there until tomorrow morning.

She's not sure how long she sat there on her bed, hands idly working on the corded bracelet she planned to gift to her dad when she got back home, but she's halfway through it when Lizzie comes in and brings her a sandwich and a bag of chips since she apparently missed lunch. Josie eats half of it and goes back to moping until the sun starts to set and the rest of the girls — noticeably _not_ Penelope — start returning to the cabin. Josie goes to brush her teeth and change into her pjs without trying to fixate on the empty bunk above her own. She climbs into bed, throws her thick blanket over her head and tries her best to end this crappy day by drifting off to sleep.

(She's halfway there when she thinks she hears a familiar voice that she's currently cross with whisper a faint goodnight before she senses movement on the bunk above her.

But surely she's just imagining it all.)

To make matters worse, when Josie wakes up the next morning, Penelope's gone. Again. She doesn't see MG either when she and Lizzie make their way to the mess hall for breakfast, which makes her stomach turn. She could only imagine what the two of them had sneaked off to do. Thankfully Lizzie spends the entirety of breakfast going over phase two in her grand plan to — well, honestly, Josie still isn't sure what her sister's endgame is with all these pranks on Hope; she's simply just along for the ride.

So when Lizzie tells her to go pack her backpack and meet her at the infirmary cabin, Josie does so without much thought. She could actually use a distraction from her MIA best friend, even if it is at Hope's expense.

Josie's halfway through packing said backpack when Penelope suddenly appears at the foot of Josie's bunk. She grabs on to the wooden frame of the bunk bed, swinging her body slightly toward Josie's, all casual-like as if she hasn't been out of sight (but still very much in mind) for nearly twenty-four hours.

"Hey JoJo, let's hang out."

When she _has_ been around, Josie's noticed her best friend has sort of been changing over their time here. She's started wearing lip gloss instead of chapstick and sometimes she'll bat her eyelashes when she talks to people. Lizzie had noticed too and made some offhand remark about puberty but Josie shrugged it off at the time. Though given everything Lizzie said earlier, Josie has to wonder if this is all because of _Milton_.

"Can't," Josie sighs as she shoves a towel and sunscreen into her backpack. "I have to somehow sneak away from today's hike to help Lizzie put itching powder in Hope's swimming cap."

"You don't _have_ to," Penelope scoffs. Before, when it was early in their time here and MG hadn't started to monopolize all of Penelope's attention, the shorter girl made it very known how she didn't like Lizzie dragging Josie into her juvenile mess. And it's ironic to think her reasoning had been if Josie's busy with Lizzie, she won't have time for her. Those tables sure have turned.

"Lizzie will be mad if I don't," Josie answers, truthfully. She's about to zip up her bag when a hand reaches out to grab her wrist.

"Let her be mad then." And there she goes again, batting her eyelashes and pouting her glossed lips. Josie feels wobbly. Maybe she should take an early lunch. She probably needs a brownie or something. "You and I are going swimming."

Josie shakes her head, both at the idea and herself. She needs to remember she's upset with Penelope for ditching her. She cannot (and will not) be swayed by shiny pink lips and impossibly long eyelashes. "You know we're not allowed to — "

"Oh come on, JoJo. You love swimming. I love swimming. Let's go swimming!" When Josie doesn't immediately agree Penelope folds her hands together underneath her chin and sticks out her bottom lip. Josie never stood a chance. " _Pleaseee_?"

And it isn't like Josie _isn't_ still mad at her best friend it's just — she knows Penelope and knows she wasn't going to drop this. It's actually much easier to just give in, which Josie ends up doing. She changes into her bathing suit, throws a pair of shorts and a camp hoodie on over it, slides her backpack on her shoulders and doesn't pull away when Penelope grabs her hand to lead her out of the cabin and toward the lake.

But even though she was technically complying, Josie remained stubbornly quiet the entire walk to the lake. She let Penelope rattle on about the potholder she was making for her mom and how the new girl Hope actually seemed cool without responding once. Josie's only half-listening. She's too busy thinking about her sister standing outside the infirmary cabin, annoyed that her partner in crime is nowhere to be found, but going about her plan to make Hope's head itchy for the rest of the day anyway. She's also trying _not_ to think about asking Penelope about her whereabouts these last few hours and why she suspiciously hasn't mentioned MG once.

When the lake's dock is within running distance, Penelope drops Josie's hand, steps out of her shorts and throws off her camp t-shirt before cannonballing into the water. Josie takes the more sensible approach, of course. She neatly folds her shorts and hoodie before calmly lowering herself into the unseasonably chilly water.

They wade in the water in relative silence, keeping an eye out for any counselors that might happen upon them blatantly breaking the rules by being out here unsupervised. Admittedly, the longer Josie swims around the more relaxed she gets. After a couple of minutes — after Penelope's dived underwater and come back up, shaking her hair dry and pelting Josie with water droplets, coaxing a fit of giggles from her — Josie can't even remember ever being upset with Penelope. Sort of.

"See?" Penelope preens, flicking some water Josie's way. "I knew a swim would get you to stop pouting so much."

Josie bites back the urge to defend herself. She can't even deny being pouty because she knows she absolutely was.

"Maybe I was pouting so much because my best friend ditched me." It's meant to come out a lot less biting than it actually does. Josie quickly tries to cover it up with the question she's desperately been trying to keep herself from asking. "Where have you been anyway? I didn't see you, like, all day yesterday."

Penelope lifts a shoulder before answering. "I was hanging out with MG."

Josie hums, lowering herself slightly in the water. She already knew as much, but the confirmation of it all still sits sourly with her.

"He kissed me," Penelope continues and Josie swears her heart drops like a cinderblock in her stomach.

"Oh," is all Josie says. It's all she _can_ say. That cinderblock she felt flips and it feels like she might get sick.

Penelope shrugs as she swims in a circle around Josie. "Yeah, he asked me to be his girlfriend too, but, I told him no. We're just friends, y'know? I wouldn't wanna mess that up."

The cinderblock starts to feel less heavy, but still very uncomfortable. Josie's weirdly relieved to find out her best friend was still single, meaning she wasn't going to have to compete with any boyfriends for her attention, but something about Penelope's reasoning made her feel what she can only describe as disheartened.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" Penelope suddenly asks, still swimming in perfect circles around her.

Josie shakes her head, spinning slightly to try and keep up with the other girl. "I'm not like you. Or Lizzie. I could never get a boy to kiss me."

Penelope stops in front of her, paddling closer until their feet, kicking to try and stay afloat, nearly knock into each other due to the lack of distance.

"Well, does it have to be a boy?" The question throws Josie. What does she mean by _that_?

"What other option is there?" And Josie hates how her voice wavers. She's beginning to feel a lot like a small fish being intently watched by a green-eyed shark.

Penelope's quiet for what seems like forever before her eyelashes flutter, tiny water droplets rolling easily down her cheeks.

"I'll kiss you," she shrugs as if it's the most casual thing in the world. "But only if you want me to."

Josie wishes she could dive underneath the water and keep going and going until she disappears altogether. And, irritatingly, she doesn't know _why_ she feels like this.

She doesn't know why it irritates her so much that MG wanted Penelope to be his girlfriend or that he kissed her. She doesn't know why Penelope offering to kiss her now makes her heart feel like it's taking a chisel to her ribcage. She doesn't even know why she's pretending as if she's actually struggling with a response to the offer.

Josie can't decipher any of her own feelings at the moment and it's highly frustrating.

"So, do you want me to kiss you, JoJo?" Penelope asks when Josie doesn't say anything to the first offer of a kiss.

Josie half shrugs, half nods, hoping she's coming off as casual about this as her friend seems to be. Penelope smiles, small and soft and shy, and wades closer to Josie. She grabs her face in her hands, the pads of her thumbs ghosting over Josie's cheeks. There's a silent moment between them, quick and fleeting, but Josie knows what it means. If Penelope was giving her a last-second chance to back out, she certainly wasn't going to take it.

Josie doesn't close her eyes. She kind of doesn't want to miss Penelope leaning in, eyes fluttering shut before she presses her lips against Josie's.

Penelope tastes like lake water and strawberry lip gloss. Not that she had ever _really_ thought about it, but her lips are just as soft as Josie suspected they'd be. Josie knows she's above the water's surface with her best friend's hands firmly on either side of her face, but she feels like she's drowning, in a totally non-scary way, though. It only lasts, like, five seconds, but considering time kind of felt like it stopped, it was more than enough for Josie.

"There," Penelope's face is nearly unreadable when she pulls away. All Josie can confidently say she sees is a softness in her best friend's eyes she's never seen before. It goes away quickly, though, and casual, confident Penelope returns once again. "Now you've had your first kiss!"

She pecks Josie on the cheek to accentuate her point, to which Josie just playfully splashes water at her. They're so wrapped up in their impromptu splash fight (and maybe still that kiss) that neither one of them hears the dock creaking beneath impending footsteps.

"Saltzman! Park!" They both spin around at the sound of their senior counselor's voice. Dorian's standing on the dock, their clothes in his hands and a disappointed scowl on his face.

They end up getting their swimming privileges taken away for a week and have to wash dishes for the next week as well. It ends up not being an effective punishment because either before the sunrise or long after the sunset, Josie will feel hands on her shoulder shaking her awake and leading her to the lake. Sometimes they swim in silence. Sometimes they can't seem to stop talking. All of the time Penelope will wade over to her and pepper Josie's face with kisses — on her forehead, her cheeks, the corners of her mouth.

It's kind of the best summer camp Josie's ever been to.

* * *

Eighth grade ends up being a really weird year for Josie. And Lizzie. And Penelope. And even Hope, too.

Basically, the start of junior high is weird for their entire friend group.

It all starts when Penelope's dad moves back home. According to Penelope, the uber-busy businessman usually stays overseas and avoids coming home at all costs, but for some reason, a week before school starts he pulls up to the park where the girls (plus MG and Kaleb) are all hanging out, in his fancy black SUV to pick up them all up and take them out for ice cream.

It seemed fun enough, to be taken for ice cream after a few hours exhausting themselves at the park, but throughout the whole trip, Josie can't shake the feeling that she's being...watched.

She's sitting at a table with Penelope and Lizzie while Hope and Kaleb monitor MG's attempt to swirl the cotton candy flavor on top of the strawberry already piled high on the cone in his hand when she feels a pair of eyes on her. She discreetly looks over her shoulder and finds Penelope's dad eyeing her. He smiles but it doesn't feel genuine. Josie can't figure out why.

Josie doesn't bring it up until she sees Penelope on the first day of school.

"Hey Pen," Josie leans against the locker next to Penelope's, her notebooks clutched to her chest as if to protect herself from whatever reaction she's gonna get when she tells her best friend how much her dad creeps her out. "Does your dad like me?"

"Everyone likes you, JoJo," Penelope snorts, exchanging a red notebook for a black one. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I don't know, it just feels like he doesn't particularly like me. Like when he took us all out, he joked around with MG and Kaleb and teased Lizzie about dropping ice cream on her shirt and threw sprinkles at you and Hope, but with me..." Josie groans. She hates this feeling. Penelope wasn't exaggerating; _everyone_ likes Josie. So to think that someone might not really grates on her. Especially considering she only just met the guy for the first time like a week ago.

Penelope slams her locker shut with a sigh. She slides her backpack on her shoulders before taking Josie's hands in her own. It's silly, but the gesture, however small and insignificant, does wonders to calm Josie's frazzled nerves.

"My dad's weird, okay? Who cares if he likes you — which he does! All that matters is that the second most important person in the world likes you: me!" She punctuates her words with a wink and Josie bites her lip to keep from grinning. She's learned letting Penelope know just how charming she can be at times is a dangerous thing.

Penelope drops one of Josie's hands but keeps hold of the other as she tugs her out into the hallway. They hold hands on the way to homeroom, which might be weird if it were anyone other than them.

"Wait, if you're the second most important person, who's the first?" Josie asks when they walk into class.

Penelope spins to face her, eyebrows wiggling. "Why the most important person in the world is an adorable young lady named Josette Saltzman."

Josie feels her cheeks warm. Penelope's always been witty but she's only just recently gotten witty in a way that feels suspiciously like flirting — at least according to Lizzie who'll make fake gagging noises whenever she's around the two best friends. But Josie knows that's just Lizzie being Lizzie and that Penelope's like that with everyone. Maybe.

Speaking of her twin, Lizzie barrels into the classroom and nearly knocks Penelope over as she makes her way to her desk.

"Out of my way, Park." She grumbles and Penelope grins. She knows it isn't personal. Lizzie's never really been a morning person.

"Well good morning to you too, beautiful," Penelope says, blowing a kiss Lizzie's direction.

Lizzie scowls, making a show of swatting away aforementioned blown kiss. "I am not Josie, okay? I won't be smitten by your little comments, or your stupid little smirk you always do or your even stupider green eyes — "

"Aw, Liz, it sounds like you already _are_ smitten," Penelope interrupts with said signature smirk.

The two eventually start bickering and Josie just smiles fondly and slides into her desk. _This_ — listening to her sister and best friend trade sarcastic remakes back and forth — feels more familiar, more normal. It takes her mind right off of the possibility that Penelope's dad hates her.

Still, though, as the days turn to weeks and weeks to months, Josie still feels like something is... _off_.

Penelope doesn't hang out with their friend group as often as before, instead telling Josie about how her parents suddenly want to spend all this family time together. So when Josie's dad says he's hosting a Christmas party and tells the girls to invite their friends, Josie's excited at the chance to _finally_ get to see Penelope at least once before the girl took off on her annual across-the-world holiday with her parents. 

Of course, though, that was all ruined when Penelope texted her to break the news that she wouldn't be able to come. However, Josie's cool about it. She's only in a bad mood for a measly four hours after she finds out. No big deal.

Now it should be noted that Alaric Saltzman is not very...social. In fact, if Josie had to describe her father she might be so inclined to use the phrase _"cuddly yet prickly"_. The high school principal is more than happy to spend his day at work, come home to his girls and eat dinner before holing up in his study with some leftover work he's brought home and a glass of bourbon from the bottle he keeps hidden in a location he thinks Josie and Lizzie don't know about. And if it weren't for the twins dragging him here and there with their extracurriculars or dates with friends, he might've kept that routine every single day.

Basically, he's a simple man that doesn't really get out very often.

Which is why hearing that he suddenly decided to throw a Christmas party made both Josie and Lizzie wonder if their father had suddenly become terminally ill or something. But then once the girls received the _'I'm coming home!'_ text from their mom, they both realized this party was nothing but an attempt by their dad to flex his parental prowess and convince their mother everything on the home front was more than OK.

When the actual night of the party arrives, and the excitement of having her mom around has worn off, Josie's only mopey about Penelope's absence for about half an hour before Kaleb arrives with his parents (and MG), and Lizzie perks up because their friends are here and now they can stop walking around letting relatives they've never even heard of pinch their cheeks and remark on how big they are. After that, it's pretty easy for Josie to at least try and have fun without her best friend by her side.

Things get even better (and _a lot_ weirder) when Hope arrives, though. Besides Lizzie turning red at the sight of the girl — because _"who invited her?!"_ (obviously Josie did) — when Hope walks in with her aunt and her aunt's wife and Josie's mom lights up because she knows them, things sure do get a whole lot more interesting.

"Dude, I can't believe your mom knows Hope's _entire_ family. I mean you and Hope are, like, practically family now," MG says to Lizzie who is definitely trying to murder him with her mind. "Should I call her Hope Saltzman or you Lizzie Mikaelson?"

Lizzie nearly growls and Josie almost spits her hot chocolate out. "Milton, I don't care if it's the holidays, I will fight you and I will win."

MG grins, wide and obnoxious. "Oh, I'm well aware you would."

Hope, who's actually taking more joy in this than Josie thought she would — though she probably just enjoys annoying Lizzie — takes the chance to chime in. "We could always hyphenate. Look, I'll even allow your last name to go first. Lizzie Saltzman-Mikaelson. Has a nice ring to it, huh?"

Josie continues to sip on her hot chocolate, watching the three of them carry on their conversation, if it could even be called that, like it was some low-budget reality TV show one might see on YouTube until Kaleb puts his hands on Josie's shoulders and spins her to face the currently open front door.

"Check it out, Jo. It's a Christmas miracle! Your girl is here!" Kaleb announces excitedly.

Josie almost drops her mug, but manages to keep enough composure to gently set the mug down before (quickly) walking over to Penelope...and her parents?

(She hopes the brisk walk does enough to explain why her cheeks are flushed. Because it's definitely from the walk over and not at all because Kaleb called Penelope _her girl_.)

"Pen!" Josie gathers the shorter girl in a lingering hug, almost toppling the two of them over. "What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it?"

Penelope waits until her parents have disappeared from her side and made their way over to the other adults to answer all of Josie's questions.

"I thought so too but then last night my parents locked themselves in their bedroom for _hours_ and this morning my mom told me we'd be able to come." She explains with a shrug. "No idea what changed, but I'm certainly not complaining. At least now I get to see you before I leave for Singapore."

Josie smiles, basking in the warm feeling that is having Penelope here when she thought it'd be another two and a half weeks before she'd see her again. Though, her smile falters a bit when she looks at the sweater Penelope's wearing.

"Can I ask why you have a picture of Lizzie pinned to your sweater?" Josie asks, curiously.

"Oh, well you said you guys were all gonna wear ugly sweaters and I didn't wanna be left out," Penelope says casually, already making her way over to the rest of the gang.

And between Hope and Penelope, Josie's worried Lizzie might actually combust tonight.

"Peezy Park!" Kaleb greets Penelope, the two of them engaging in the little handshake they always do when they see each other. "Josie told us you weren't gonna make it."

"C'mon now, is it _really_ a party if I'm not around?" Penelope responds, smoothly.

"Yes, it absolutely is," Lizzie answers, before tilting her head curiously at Penelope's sweater.

Before Lizzie can even ask, Penelope smirks and proudly says, "It's my ugly sweater."

"Ha!" Hope laughs from beside MG. "That's genius. Definitely wish I would've thought of that."

Lizzie's eye actually twitches and Josie thinks this is already shaping up to be a pretty fantastic Christmas party.

The party rolls on and the gang is having a good time. Kaleb and Josie sing a Christmas song or two, Hope and Lizzie engage in a gingerbread building contest (Lizzie wins and doesn't let Hope forget it) and MG and Penelope try the chubby bunny challenge, which ends with everyone in near tears from laughing so hard.

It's all fun and lively and Josie's absolutely warmed down to her toes having fun with her friends while her mom is literally a room away. It feels perfect, like a pleasant dream, but then there's a huge ruckus and the sound of overlapping voices yelling coming from the dining room where the adults were mingling. It abruptly wakes Josie up from her perfect, pleasant dream. 

The kids obviously all hurriedly rush to the dining room, curious to see what all the commotion was about. Josie's stomach bottoms out at the sight of her dad's finger pointed angrily in Mr. Park's face.

"You really have some nerve, pal," her dad grits out. Uncle Stefan has his hand on dad's chest, and — was he about to _fight_ Penelope's dad?

The taller man huffs, adjusts his tie and grabs hold of his wife's hand. "You know what? Thank you for the hospitality, Dr. Saltzman, but I think it's time for me and my family to go."

His tone is condescending and belittling, and when he looks over at Josie with that same strange look of faux kindness, she feels a hand slip into hers and she doesn't need to look to know it's Penelope's.

"Penelope, get your things. We're leaving," he orders in an authoritative way that feels like it's something that's not up for discussion.

Although Penelope has always had a thing for challenging authority.

"Daddy, no," she says, squeezing Josie's hand. "We've only been here for, like, an hour and I'm having fun with my friends."

Mr. Park doesn't look anywhere near close to budging so Josie looks over at her own father, eyes as sad as she could possibly make them. "Dad, can't Penelope stay a little while longer and you can just drop her off at home when the party's over?"

"Jo, maybe it's a good idea Penelope just leave with her parents." Her dad is still upset and she can't possibly imagine what could have been said or done to make him deny her time with Penelope. Her dad loves Penelope, he's always said as much. So she can't fathom why he would suddenly be all but kicking her out.

Right when Josie's considering a full-on tantrum, her mom steps in to ease the tension. God, has she missed her.

"I can take Penelope home," she offers, cheerily. "She can stay a few more hours with her friends and I'll have her home safely before ten. That sound okay?"

Mr. Park fixes his mouth to undoubtedly say no, but his wife interjects before he can. At least everyone's moms seem to have their heads on straight.

"That sounds just fine," she smiles and it seems genuine. Josie likes Penelope's mom. The woman doesn't give her nearly the same weird vibes as her husband does."Thank you, Caroline."

There's a final tense moment between the two men before Mr. Park tugs his wife toward the door, gathers their coats and leaves. It takes a second, but once Kaleb's dad shouts something about the strength of the eggnog and good ol' holiday feistiness, the party seems to liven right back up. The kids are all still giving each other uneasy glances (they just saw Josie's and Penelope's dads almost get into it, of course they're a little weirded out) until Josie's savior, one Miss Caroline Forbes-Salvatore, comes over to the huddled group of pre-teens with a bright smile and a candy cane for each one of them.

"So, Lizzie, Jo," she starts, handing each one of their friends a candy cane. "I have been so busy with the grown-ups I haven't even gotten a chance to meet your friends."

Lizzie, of course, steps right in to do the introductions.

"Mom, this is Kaleb and MG, two of the only boys at our school that aren't completely lame; you already weirdly and unfortunately know Hope, and this literal demon is — "

"Let me guess, Penelope Park?" Her mom wiggles her eyebrows and Josie feels her face heat up. Her mother couldn't get more embarrassing if she tried. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things, hopefully?" Penelope laughs, albeit slightly nervous sounding.

"Great things, actually," Caroline smiles before nodding over to Josie. "This one can't seem to stop talking about you."

"Mom," Josie pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. If it wasn't one parent causing her problems, it was the other. "Pen, I don't talk about you that much."

Lizzie hums, shaking her head. "No, you definitely do."

Josie elbows her twin, not even bothering to do it discreetly. "At least I don't constantly talk about someone who I claim to hate."

Hope perks up and lovingly coos at Lizzie, which, of course, irritates the blonde. "Aw, you talk about me all the time? I knew you secretly liked me."

MG snorts and Kaleb, sensing another one of Lizzie's mini tantrums incoming, sandwiches himself between the two girls and leads them back over to the karaoke machine.

"So Mrs. S, wanna come join us for another round of karaoke? I could use a partner for Feliz Navidad," MG asks with that charming smile of his. He offers his elbow which Caroline takes, looking back at Josie with an amused grin as MG takes her over to join the rest of the group.

Just as Josie was about to follow — if her mom and MG are about to sing some karaoke, she is definitely not about to miss that — when she feels a hand grab hers to pull her back.

Penelope gives her that mischievous smirk of hers before nodding toward the stairs to the left of them. "Hey, can we go up to your room for a second? I wanna give you your Christmas present and I don't wanna do it around everyone else."

Josie raises an intrigued brow. While she was very keen on watching MG and her mom butcher their way through Christmas carols while Lizzie tried not to strangle Hope, she's even keener on finding out what her best friend got her for Christmas. Something that was apparently so secret it had to be shared between just the two of them.

Josie grabs onto Penelope's hand more tightly and pulls her upstairs and into her room. She shuts the door behind them — but doesn't lock it — while Penelope makes herself comfortable on Josie's bed. The taller girl watches as she produces a box from the pocket of her sweater that was being hidden by the pinned on photo of Lizzie.

"Here," Penelope hands her the box once Josie settles across from her. "Merry early Christmas, JoJo."

Josie carefully removes the ribbon that created the neat bow on top and opens the box. Inside was a silver fancy-looking bracelet surrounded by tiny little trinkets. Her cheeks are already starting to feel the effects of her mile-wide smile.

"It's a charm bracelet, so I thought I should start you off with a few and you can add your own later if you want," Penelope explains, her hands fidgeting in her lap. "Uh, I got you the little sun charm because that's what you remind me of since you're always so cheery and your favorite color's yellow. The little crown is for Lizzie, for obvious reasons. The pencil and the heart are for your parents, and — "

"Is the moon supposed to be you?" Josie interrupts, holding the tiny moon charm between her fingers.

Penelope half nods, half shrugs. "I figured if you're the sun, I'm the moon. We're opposites, but we make a great pair, y'know? We're like halves of a whole."

"This is — this is amazing, Pen. I love it!" Josie slides the bracelet on with ease, turning her wrist a few times to admire the way it looks on her. Once she's satisfied, (Lizzie is gonna be _so_ jealous) she goes to fetch her gift for Penelope.

Josie reaches underneath her pillow, which was the only place she could hide it where Lizzie wouldn't find it and go running off to spoil the surprise for Penelope, and pulls out a tiny box. She hands it over, swallowing down the nerves she's feeling for some reason. "Okay, here's your gift. Merry early Christmas, Pen."

Penelope swiftly tears into the box, disregarding the little bit of wrapping paper Josie managed to place the box in to get to the prize inside. She was right, they _are_ opposites.

"Oh JoJo," Penelope pulls out the necklace that held a tiny glass vial filled with some sort of green solid and regards it with curiosity before outright frowning. "I get that it's a necklace, but what's in the little tube thingy?"

Josie clears her throat, suddenly feeling nervous. This gift had seemed like a much better idea before.

"Right, so, I was feeling a bit sentimental and Lizzie said I should get you jewelry but I wanted to give you something that meant something, right? So," she pauses, wringing her hands. "It's...wax. Actually, it's melted crayon — green crayon, to be more specific."

Penelope looks ever so amused. "I give you an expensive bracelet and you give me a necklace with a bit of green crayon wax?"

Josie huffs. "Because — the first day we met you offered me one of your crayons and it was green and I was _trying_ to be clever and — "

Penelope cuts her off by leaning over and pulling her into a hug. Josie returns the gesture, even though she's pouting. Penelope gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling away, knowing that would at least get Josie's frown to soften slightly.

"It's _cute_ , JoJo. I love it! Not only will it go great with my eyes, every time I look at it I'll think of chubby-cheeked little Josie and the crayon that launched our legendary friendship," she hands the necklace over, turning so her back's facing Josie. "Put it on for me?"

Josie is doing her best to fight off a smile as she clasps the necklace around Penelope's neck. Why she ever settled on someone so endearingly annoying for a best friend, Josie might never know. She blames it on that green crayon.

"So, now that we're all decked out in our Christmas gifts," Penelope starts, jumping off of the bed and grabbing Josie by the hand to pull her off as well. "Let's go back downstairs and drink hot cocoa and see how long it takes before Lizzie tries to strangle Hope!"

Josie considers this as they make their way downstairs. "I'm willing to bet she lunges at her in the next twenty minutes."

Penelope snorts with a shake of her head. "You have too much faith in your sister. She won't even last ten minutes."

(Lizzie throws a handful of mini marshmallows at Hope five and a half minutes after they get downstairs. Josie owes Penelope five bucks.)

Once the party was over, as promised, Penelope, Josie, and Lizzie all piled into Caroline's SUV to take Penelope home. Lizzie spends a good majority of the ride waxing on about how annoying she finds Hope. Josie listens, amused because it's so very obvious Lizzie actually adores having Hope around — who else would willingly entertain and actively engage with all of the blondes verbal barbs? — while Penelope offers a smart remark or two before falling asleep on Josie's shoulder. She looks so peaceful, by the time they pull up in front of the impressively large house, Josie kind of doesn't want to wake her.

Lizzie, however, has no problem doing so.

"Wake up, Park. You're home," Lizzie says, jostling Penelope awake. She blinks the sleep from her eyes and blows a kiss toward Lizzie before following Josie out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

"I'm gonna walk Penelope to the door. Be right back." Josie pokes her head into the car and informs her mom and sister. It's a short little pathway from the driveway to the front door but Josie offers anyway. Really she just wanted one last moment alone with Penelope before they had to go weeks without seeing each other.

When they reach the door, Penelope rubs the lingering sleep from her eyes with a yawn before stepping forward and throwing her arms around Josie. The hug is tight and lingering and Josie thinks this is a feeling she never wants to lose. She wants to hug her best friend like this when they graduate high school, when they get into the same college, when they get their first apartment together, when — when whatever happens in their lives, Josie wants to experience it in Penelope's arms because those arms feel something like home.

"I'll see you when I get back, okay?" Penelope whispers and Josie nods. "Love you, JoJo."

"Love you too, Pen."

And it's strange that in their seven years of friendship, this is the first time they've ever said those words to each other. Of course, Josie never needed to actually hear them to know it's how Penelope felt. She never had to say it because she's always _shown_ it.

And maybe, Josie thinks, it's the best way to be loved — silently, but fiercely, in a way that's still unabashed and plain for everyone to see; loved in the way that her best friend (has and always will) loves her.

* * *

Josie is blindsided when Penelope doesn't show up on the first day of school after winter break.

She goes about her day, concerned about her best friend's whereabouts the entire time. She knows Penelope spent the holidays traveling overseas with her parents, but she surely should have been back by now. Josie called and texted and never got a response. She figured maybe Penelope was just tired from all the travel or maybe even sick, but that she'd definitely show up for school. So when homeroom comes and goes, as does the rest of the school day, and Josie doesn't see her best friend, she gets a little more than worried.

"As much as I hate to admit it, school was kind of boring without Park there," Lizzie says after Josie tells her how Penelope has completely gone radio silent. The two are lying on their couch, a tangled mess of limbs, watching the dull tv shows that come on after school waiting for their dad to get home.

"If it was boring for you, imagine how mind-numbing it was for me," Josie grumbles. "I've literally never gone this long without talking to Penelope before. Even when she travels she usually calls. Something just doesn't feel right, Lizzie."

The blonde places her hand over her sister's, doing her best to comfort her. "Jo, Penelope's like...like a cockroach. Just when you think she's gone, she pops right back up again. I'm pretty sure she's just off getting more stupid ear piercings and that she'll be back to rub it in my face by the end of the week."

"Yeah, you're probably right." And Josie says it more to convince herself because, while Lizzie's roundabout assertion that Penelope was simply _always_ going to be in their lives was probably more than a little true, the situation still felt weird.

But Josie's been known to spiral before so she tells herself everything is fine over and over again until she starts to believe it. She repeats the mantra in her head while Lizzie makes them sandwiches to tied them over until their dad got home with dinner, while she tries to complete some homework and let Lizzie paint her toenails at the same time, and while Lizzie tells her all about some new boy at school and his not-brother brother while she braids her hair.

Lizzie keeps her somewhat distracted and the mantra keeps her comforted, but when Josie's dad finally gets home, all that distracting and comfort go flying out of the window.

The minute Josie lays eyes on her dad, her stomach does about several hundred somersaults. 

"Hey girls," he greets them weakly once he makes it up the stairs and is standing in the doorway of their bedroom. He looks tired in a way that doesn't read as physical exhaustion but more exhaustion of the emotional sort. Even the smile he gives them is half-hearted, at best.

"Hey dad," Lizzie responds, hair freshly plaited. Josie would've echoed her sister but her voice has seemingly left her. Her throat already feels tight from the look on her dad's face alone. But leave it to Lizzie to ask the question Josie would have never been able to get out. "Everything okay?"

He sighs and steps into their room. He sits between them on the edge of Josie's bed, each one of his hands resting on either of their knees. Josie doesn't think she's imagining the way he grips her just a little bit tighter.

"So I got a call from Mrs. Park today and she wanted me to tell you guys that — " he winces, dreading ripping this particular band-aid off. "That she and Penelope are going to be staying in London for a little while. At least until the school year is over."

Josie blinks. Part of her isn't registering what was just said, but it's clear by the tears stinging her eyes at least _some_ part of her understood completely.

"So, they just moved? Without even saying goodbye?" Again, Lizzie manages to voice Josie's exact thoughts for her. She's never been more thankful for that twin-tuition thing.

"I think it was a last-minute thing. Had they known, I'm certain they would have said — "

"No!" The word explodes out of Josie's body having sat locked in her throat since her dad delivered the news. "They can't — Penelope can't just be _gone_. She's my _best friend_ , daddy. She just can't — "

And Josie _hates_ crying, but here she is. Hot tears rolling down her face, her chest heaving as she tries to catch a satisfying breath. Her dad wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulls her into his chest and tries to soothe her but it doesn't really work. Josie feels like she may never be soothed again.

They sit like that for a while, with Josie silently sobbing into her dad's itchy brown sweater while Lizzie reached around to run her hand up and down her sister's back. 

Their dad offers to bring their dinner to them, to let them eat in their room and take the laptop for the night to watch a movie before bed, but neither of them really feel up to it. Once he peels himself away from them, he brings them food anyway. Lizzie eats her meal in silence, too concerned about her twin's mood to really enjoy it. Josie doesn't eat at all, despite her dad's attempts to get her to.

He lets Lizzie help her change into her pajamas and at least gets her to brush her teeth before she curls up in her bed. Josie hears Lizzie mutter a quiet, _"I got this,"_ before their dad leaves them for the night. The blonde cuddles up behind her, her arms wrapped protectively around her. Josie doesn't know how long it takes her to fall asleep, only that when she finally does, she doesn't sleep well.

Josie stays home the next day because she isn't quite ready to go to school and spend yet another day without Penelope knowing this would be her new normal. Lizzie stays, too, to keep an eye on her.

"Hey, Pen has a cellphone, right? Let's just text her and tell her we know that she's moved and that she doesn't have to avoid our messages anymore." Lizzie suggests after a failed attempt to get Josie to eat anything more than a handful of popcorn for lunch.

Josie sighs when Lizzie hands her her cellphone. She opens Penelope's thread and can't help but feel a painful twinge in her chest at the column of unanswered blue bubbles. She isn't optimistic that if she sent another, Penelope would respond. Because the fact was, if she wanted to, she would have already.

Penelope would have already told Josie she wasn't coming back. She would have already tried to reach out, have already tried to make this situation suck less, but she hasn't. And Josie can't shake the feeling it's because she simply didn't want to.

But Lizzie's still insistent she do it so Josie does. She sends a single text that, while she doesn't know it at the time, will never go answered, never even get read.

Josie also doesn't know that in two years' time, she'll find out why: why Mr. Park never seemed that warm to her, why her dad argued with Penelope's dad, why her best friend was suddenly taken away from her and why that text message never got a response.

She'll be sixteen then, receiving every answer to every question she has — even the ones she hasn't asked yet.

But for now, Josie's fourteen and utterly heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news: the second part is, like, basically done.
> 
> bad news: it is just as obnoxiously long (if not longer; i still have to at least try and condense it a bit) as this one. sorry.
> 
> if you review, please be gentle!! i'm doing my best out here!! but all comments/kudos are much appreciated! thanks for reading!


	2. ii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot can change in two years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello APOLOGIES for taking so long to update, especially after bragging that the next chapter was done lmao sike!! thank you all for your kind words on the first chapter and thank you for riding with me for this second one! i hope y'all enjoy!!

A lot can change in two years.

For example, two years ago Josie was entering eighth grade off of the back of a summer where her sister Lizzie gained a new frenemy in Hope Mikaelson, MG got his first kiss and suddenly walked around like he was seven feet tall, and the person who gave him that kiss, Josie's best friend Penelope, was...well, she was still her best friend and she was still _there_.

Everything was good back then — her life was _good_.

Which isn't to say it's not good now it's just...different.

Some of Lizzie's more eccentric behavior during their formative years got a reason and a name and, even though Josie tells her there's no reason to be, the blonde twin carries a smidge of shame about it. She's still _Her_ but every so often when they head to the pharmacy with their dad to pick up her medication, Josie will catch her sister with her shoulders slumped looking — for a moment, at least — utterly defeated by the world. But she never stays down for long because she's found herself quite popular at school due to her being something of a stud at soccer, and now has her own personal cheerleader in MG, who's apparently head over heels for her.

Given that their gang had unexpectedly gone down a friend, Hope managed to fill that role as best she could. She remained ever the thorn in Lizzie's backside and grew closer to Josie in a way she perhaps might not have been able to in their previous circumstances. In fact, both girls felt their relationship slowly creeping past friendship and heading in a direction that was completely uncharted territory for both of them. Hope seemed more than willing to explore whatever it was they were feeling. Josie was more reluctant for reasons she couldn't quite decipher. It became a dance of sorts, a very _will-we?-won't-we?_ type situation, until Hope was the first to bow out.

The reason? Landon Kirby.

Landon and his foster brother Rafael had moved to town years ago, (PPM — pre-Penelope's move), but it was only once freshman year started did the two boys integrate themselves into Josie's friend group. He and Hope had this weird on again-off again thing for nearly all of freshman year until Landon ended up asking Josie out the summer after that year once Lizzie had let it slip that Josie had a crush on him. He was cute, of course, and kind and Hope swore she didn't mind if they moved beyond just being friends because she just didn't have those kinds of feelings for him anymore. Plus, she really wanted to see Josie happy.

(Cue more dancing around that aforementioned crush.)

So Landon and Josie became a _Thing_ and have been for a couple of months now. And it's good. Really, it is.

Landon's a great boyfriend. He always tells Josie she looks pretty and holds her books in the hallway and opens doors for her and takes her out on dates almost every Saturday night. Her dad likes him and Lizzie tolerates him (which is about as good an approval Lizzie can give), so Josie, all things considered, really should be happy but —

But, admittedly, Josie isn't as happy as she thinks she could be. Being with Landon sort of feels like going through the motions. In fact, her whole life kind of feels like that. It's monotonous and a little (lot) boring and Josie just wishes something — _anything_ — could shake up her routine.

And the first day of the second semester of sophomore year, Josie Saltzman gets her wish.

She and Lizzie are making their way to Josie's locker while the blonde vents about her run-in with Hope this morning when they arrived at school with their dad. Which was literally ten minutes ago. And Josie was there. But far be it from her to stop Lizzie from ranting on her favorite subject.

"And — _ugh_ did you see the way she tried to butter dad up?” Lizzie fake gags dramatically. Josie tries to bite back a smile. "She complimented his sweater when everyone knows that thing is hideous — "

Right when the twins stop in front of Josie's assigned locker, MG comes sprinting down the hallway, his hand landing on Josie's locker to prevent her from opening it.

"Guys! Guys!” He's wheezing, barely able to catch his breath, but his eyes are practically brimming with mischief. "I have, like, the biggest news imaginable.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes. "MG, I swear if you tell us anything about a dumb comic book...”

She had a right to be apprehensive. This was the same guy who once sent out an alarmingly frantic group text the night he saw Avengers: Endgame.

"No, no, I'm being serious this time. I was just in the office trying to get my schedule changed since, for some reason, they aren't counting the credits I earned from the classes I took over the summer, which is so messed up, because I took them for a reason, y'know? So for them to just ignore that — "

" _Milton_ ,” Josie warns through clenched teeth. He certainly knew how to drag out a story. "Get on with it?”

"Sorry! Sorry,” he takes another quick breath, his eyes that are no longer obstructed by thick lenses (thank you, contact lenses) going comically wide. "Anyway, I'm in the office, right, and guess what happened?”

"We'd love it if you just came out and said it already,” Josie says, really wishing he'd move his hand so she could at least exchange her notebooks while he told the world's longest story.

MG does actually end up moving his hand, but only so he can more animatedly tell his apparently hour-long tale. "Right, so I'm standing there, waiting to speak to someone about my schedule when — "

"Holy ghost of childhood's past,” Lizzie interrupts, her jaw literally dropping. Josie ignores MG's irritated grunt to follow Lizzie's line of sight, and when she does, she swears her heart leaps up into her throat. "Is that — "

"Penelope?” Josie says the name so softly even she herself barely hears it. She knows she probably looks silly, but she actually rubs at her eyes because _no way_ is her (ex?) best friend really making her way down the same hallway as her.

MG groans. "Way to trample all over my moment there, Lizzie.”

"Oh please, I did you a favor seeing as how you were literally never going to finish your long-winded story — "

Lizzie and MG start their usual bickering but Josie tunes it out completely. She watches Penelope — because that definitely _is_ her — stop at the row of lockers at the opposite end of the hallway, half expecting something to happen to lead her to believe this is all a dream.

(It certainly wouldn't be the first time Josie's dreamt of Penelope suddenly reappearing in her life.)

It isn't until Josie is standing a mere foot away from her long lost best friend that she even realizes she started walking in the first place. And for all the planning she had done in her head over the last two years of what exactly she would say if (when) she ever saw Penelope again, Josie's at a complete loss for words. Which, truthfully, isn't _totally_ her fault, because in every scenario she came up with, Penelope never looked like...this.

Josie never once prepared for her best friend to get so...well — _attractive_.

Not that it matters to her. Not at all.

Josie's always thought the girl was pretty, with her long dark hair and gold flecked green eyes, not to mention her ability to make just about any outfit look good while also looking like she put zero effort into it, but that was a thirteen-year-old Penelope. Even though she was probably the most put together out of their friend group, the Penelope that Josie remembers, and has remembered ever since she left, was still a smidge on the awkward side. She was still working her way through the always weird _tween phase_ , still trying to fully come into her own.

The Penelope that stood in front of Josie now, though? She was the finished article.

Her once long raven hair was cut short into a stylish bob that just reached her shoulders. There was considerably more jewelry adorning her ears and the glint of a tiny stud decorating her nose. The black v-neck and matching dark jeans she wore fit her like a glove. Not to mention there was just an air about her now, almost as if she was well aware just how attractive she was and how much power that gave her — confidence, she thinks is what they call it.

So _of course_ Josie was a bit speechless at the moment.

Before she can make up her mind on what to say — _was hi too formal? was hey too casual?_ — Penelope turns her head, finally noticing Josie's presence. She does a double-take, her brow furrowing for a moment before her features soften in a way that reminds Josie of a particular afternoon at summer camp a few years ago. She doesn't greet her, though; she just goes stoic and returns to shoving books into her locker.

Josie takes a step toward her, the words slowly making their way to her lips. "Penelope, I — " she chuckles, mainly because she's wanted this for so long and now that she has it, she's making a real mess of it. "Hey.”

"Hey,” Penelope parrots, still very much focused on the menial task of stacking textbooks on the shelf in her locker.

"Uh, so you're back,” Josie says, really, for lack of anything else to say. She really wants to hug her, to pull her into a tight embrace just to confirm that she's actually here, but Josie resists the urge. She fiddles with her hands, just about able to keep them to herself. "When did that happen?”

"Like, two weeks ago,” Penelope shrugs.

" _Two weeks_?” Josie blinks. She isn't sure what to do with the information that for two whole weeks Penelope simply neglected to make her return known. "You've been back that long and you didn't think to come see me? Or at least tell me you're back? I've literally been worried sick about you for two years. You just suddenly up and left without even saying goodbye and — I missed you."

"Why would I come see you?” Penelope says, full of snark in that condescending tone people get whenever they've heard something downright silly. Josie's a lot taken aback by it.

"B-because,” Josie pauses for a moment to steady herself. This reunion really isn't off to the greatest of starts. "I'm your best friend. That's what best friends do.”

Penelope only hums, clearly finding organizing her locker much more interesting than speaking to the girl she left behind two years ago.

"I missed you, Pen,” Josie repeats, just because she's wanted to tell her that since the second she found out Penelope had moved halfway across the world. It feels a bit like it's falling on deaf ears, but she is nothing if not persistent.

"Yeah, you said that.” Penelope won't even look at her. Her head is half in her locker neatly placing notebooks inside while the jingle of her many bracelets undercuts the awkward silence between them. It makes Josie absentmindedly fiddle with the charm bracelet on her own wrist.

"Um, are you okay? Because you seem kind of — "

"Look, Josie,” and her heart sinks because she honestly can't remember the last time Penelope's called her by her actual name and not the affectionate nickname she gave her the first day they met. "I can't — I can't do this again, okay? I can't _be_ all about you again.”

"What is that supposed to mean?” Josie asks, genuinely confused by her words.

Penelope sighs as if she just expected Josie to understand without her having to explain. "While I was away I realized how much of a distraction our friendship was. I got so much done without you always hanging around and taking up all my time. We're in high school now, so we should both be focusing on school and extracurriculars and college and stuff.”

Josie has a temper — it's a Saltzman thing, her dad always said — but she never lets it show. She'll get angry and stew in silence, unlike Lizzie who'll let anyone in her vicinity have it, but right now? Right now she thinks she'll try her sister's method of dealing with such anger.

" _Me_ taking up all of _your_ time?” And it's not so much that she's upset with the idea that she was some sort of bad influence in Penelope's life, but it's more the fact that the newly returned girl is using that utter lie as some sort of cowardly reason to end their friendship. " _You_ were the one who always wanted to hang out at my house. _You_ were the one who always tried to convince your mom to let you go to the same summer camps as me and Lizzie, and the one summer you actually did, you were the one who — "

"Who what?” Penelope challenges, _finally_ closing her locker. She looks at Josie defiantly, her arms crossing over her chest. "Say it, Saltzman.”

Josie, having had her bluff called, backs off the subject. "You know what you did. I never asked for that.”

"But you never said no even though I told you that you could,” Penelope smirks, cold and arrogant and — Josie barely recognizes the girl standing in front of her. "We were never _really_ best friends, were we? You were just infatuated with me and, along with being too nice to ignore the poor, shy, Saltzman twin, I kind of liked the attention.”

Josie doesn't know what to say, how to respond. She supposes that's the downside to having someone who knows her as well as Penelope does. She knows all of her insecurities, knows exactly what to say to make Josie question whether any of their friendship was genuine. She knows that it can't be true — there was simply too much evidence to prove otherwise. She knows that Penelope was genuinely her friend this entire time but seeing as how it had been a worry of hers literally since the first moment they met, all it took was a tiny seed of doubt for Josie's brain to grow a whole doubt garden.

Penelope gives her a once over, seemingly satisfied with having shut her up. She takes a step closer — too close, if you ask Josie — and whispers, "Tell Lizzie and MG I said hi.”

She smiles, waves to the aforementioned two over Josie's shoulder, turns and walks down the hallway with something of a pep in her step.

Lizzie and MG quickly make their way over once Penelope disappears around the corner. Both of them are quiet but it feels loaded. They couldn't have heard all of what was said, but Josie's sure the girls' body language was loud and clear.

"Wow,” MG lets out a strangled laugh. "So Penelope has...changed.”

"If by changed you mean turned into a mega bitch then, yeah. She sure has.” Lizzie remarks.

"Don't call her that. She's not a b— " Josie stops herself. She really has no business defending Penelope, not when she's just hurt her like that, but it's something of a reflex at this point. "She's just not being herself.”

"She just treated you like you guys haven't been best friends for practically more than half your lives and you're _still_ defending her?” MG narrows his eyes and pins her with a searching look. Josie feels rather exposed. He's smart; he's probably figured out things Josie hasn't even yet admitted to herself yet.

Lizzie pushes MG away so she can better wrap an arm around Josie's shoulders. "C'mon Jo, let's go to class and pray to god we don't see the new Ice Princess Park again.”

MG and Lizzie walk to class arm-in-arm with Josie, both of them doing their part to take her mind off of green eyes and hurtful words. MG keeps going on about his messed up schedule. Lizzie details the exact way she'll flip out if she has more than one class with Hope (because apparently she's _only_ okay with just the one). Josie appreciates it, really she does, but —

Maybe she was being dramatic, but it felt like she was reliving the worst day of her life all over again, only this time it was infinitely more devastating.

Because at least on that day, the day Penelope unceremoniously stepped out of Josie's life, Josie didn't have to deal with actually _seeing_ her while she dealt with her aching heart. Now, every time she sees her former (she can confidently call her that now) best friend in the hallway or in class, it's like another fresh wave of pain.

During lunch, after Josie unclasps the charm bracelet she's worn since the night she got it and tosses it into the depths of her backpack, she makes her way to the principal's office. She tells her dad she isn't feeling well and asks to go home. And of course because Alaric Saltzman is a melt for his daughters he actually cuts his own lunch hour short to drive her home so she won't have to walk all the way there.

When Josie's leaving, she runs into Penelope _again_. They don't speak, they barely even make eye contact, except for when Penelope glances at Josie's wrist and sees the absence of her charm bracelet.

If Josie didn't know any better, she'd swear the girl looked hurt.

It's probably the least she deserves.

* * *

Turns out the only thing worse than never getting her best friend back, is getting her best friend back but having her act like...whatever it is Penelope's acting like.

In the beginning, after completely dismissing her and ending whatever friendship they had, Penelope ignored Josie's existence completely. She barely made eye contact with her in the halls, she never sat near her in any of their shared classes and whenever she would be in the middle of catching up with one of their mutual friends, Penelope would always make herself scarce when she saw Josie coming.

So, really, it was like she was still gone.

However, in the past month or so, things have changed. A lot. 

Whenever Josie's walking hand-in-hand down the hallway with Landon she's hyperaware of a pair of judgey green eyes on them. Whenever Landon takes her out to the local theatre for a movie date, a familiar face is usually there with her new gaggle of followers, a smart remark ( _”aw, look who's here to catch the new G-rated kiddie flick; how cute!”_ ) ready to go the second the two of them walk by. Whenever they're at one of Raf's baseball games, Josie swears she has the undivided attention of a particular junior varsity cheerleader.

To be fair, even with the uptick in attention, Penelope does still leave Josie be a majority of the time — save for whenever she's having a laugh at the expense of Josie _and_ Landon, she really never bothers her.

(Lizzie has a theory Penelope's shift in attention only occurred once Rafael mentioned that Josie and Landon were dating but that kind of behavior would seem awfully like a word that starts with a capital _J_ and Josie can't wrap her head around why Penelope would be...y'know.)

So life with Penelope back in it isn't exactly the way Josie would have pictured it, but, for what it's worth, she's relatively fine with it. She's more than happy to continue as she has for the last two years and simply keep her former BFF out of mind completely.

Well, _almost_ completely.

Josie's always considered Rafael to be a good friend — and, to be fair, he hasn't exactly been briefed by Lizzie on what was supposed to be their friend group's universal _'we hate Penelope'_ code — so when she's at her locker half-listening to Landon vent about the grade he got on his music history midterm, she reasons she should be neither upset nor suspicious that Rafael and Penelope are suddenly thick as thieves.

Or at least, that's how they look, hanging out by Penelope's locker, laughing loudly at whatever jokes are being told between them.

" — which, as you probably guessed, is a complete joke, because my thesis on jazz was — "

"Hey is Raf seeing anybody? Like, romantically?” Josie interrupts, the question not able to linger any longer quietly in her mind.

Landon frowns, probably thrown off by both being cut off and by the question. He follows her eyes over his shoulder and turns to see his foster brother helping Penelope with a heavy stack of textbooks.

"Oh, you mean Penelope?” Landon questions. Josie tries to nod as nonchalantly as possible. She's only told him just the bare minimum about her past with Raf's apparent new BFF; she figured anything more detailed would possibly lead to questions she simply wasn't ready to answer. "Nah, Raf's just hanging out with her because she's his assigned spirit buddy, or whatever. She's supposed to, like, decorate his locker before games and wear his number painted on her face at pep rallies — y'know, all that fun, weird high school stuff.”

Josie hums, opening her locker, if only to give her something else to focus on besides the annoying way Penelope throws her head back every time she laughs.

"I thought Dana was supposed to do that stuff for him since he's basically on varsity in every sport he plays and Dana's on the varsity squad?”

"Apparently once Penelope made the JV squad she got Dana to switch with her or something.” Landon shrugs before pinning his girlfriend with a suspicious stare. "Why are you so curious all of a sudden?”

"I was just asking,” Josie shrugs, rearranging the magnets holding up different photos of her and her friends just so her idle hands have something to do.

Landon, more than satisfied with her answer, just hums and goes back to his spiel about his music midterm. This time, Josie makes no attempt to really pay him any attention because Penelope keeps giggling like Rafael is some sort of comedian and her hand keeps falling on his bicep and she is just _so_ caught up in watching her current friend (at least she _thought_ Rafael was a friend and not some broad-shouldered Judas) share quite the animated conversation with her ex-best friend that she doesn't even notice her hand is currently still very much in the path of her locker door until it's too late and she's slammed said door on her knuckles. Quite hard in fact.

"Shit!” Josie swears just loud enough to get Rafael and Penelope's attention. The two of them come rushing over — well, Rafael's rushing; Penelope seems to be content to take her sweet time — to assess the situation.

"Jo! Oh my god, are you alright?” Landon stutters, his hands hovering over hers, unsure of whether or not he should attempt to touch her.

Not a second later, Rafael arrives and gingerly places her hand atop his palm. Her fingers are red and quickly swelling and — was she really so caught up in eavesdropping on Raf and Penelope that she slammed her hand in a door? It's a new low for her.

"Josie, are you okay?” He asks, full of concern. "We heard that from all the way down the hall.”

Josie nods, her eyes watery because — _shit_ her hand hurts. "I'm fine! Totally fine!”

Penelope tilts her head and clicks her tongue against her teeth. Josie wants to hit her with her good hand. "It doesn't look fine. Maybe you should go to the nurse and get some ice.”

Landon nods in agreement and adjusts his backpack on his shoulders. "Yeah, she's right. You probably need to ice that. I can take you, babe — "

"Nonsense, muppet,” Penelope says, borrowing Lizzie's favorite nickname for Landon for the moment. She pushes him and Raf aside as if they weren't — or at least, as if _Rafael_ wasn't — much bigger teenage boys and reaches down to grab Josie's backpack. "You two boys run along to class. You know how Dr. Saltzman frowns on skipping and since next period's study hall for me, I'll take his darling daughter to the nurse.”

Landon looks to Rafael, almost as if to silently ask if one of them should insist instead, but the star athlete only shrugs. "Fine, I guess. Just try and sneak me a text when you leave the nurse's office so I know you're alright.”

Penelope rolls her eyes with a patronizing huff of laughter. "She just bruised her knuckles, dude. I'm sure they won't have to amputate.”

Rafael gives Penelope _a look_ which leads to her giving Landon what she probably thought was an apologetic smile. So now they're sharing _looks_ now? Interesting.

"Look, if you're gonna take me, can we just go already?” Josie says right as the bell rings and the hallway gets considerably more crowded.

"After you, buttercup,” Penelope slings one strap of Josie's backpack over her shoulder before gesturing for the taller girl to lead the way.

At first, Josie thought walking in silence would be best — the fewer chances given to Penelope to say something ridiculous, the better — but between her throbbing hand, the squeak of shoes on the school's linoleum floor and the chatter from students rushing by to get to class, halfway to the nurse's office she starts to change her mind.

"Why are you talking to me now?” Josie asks, mostly to take her mind off of this whole situation with her hand. Mostly. "When you got back you made it very clear you had no intention on being my friend and yet — " 

"Oh, I meant what I said. You are a distraction, Josie Saltzman. But my life is also a lot better with you in it,” Penelope's tone goes from obnoxiously smug to surprisingly genuine so fast Josie almost gets whiplash from how quickly she looks over to her. The sentiment doesn't even have the chance to settle between the two former friends before Penelope's attitude rears it's head again. "So even though you're a stage five clinger, I've decided to at least keep you on the periphery of my day-to-day activities. At least it gives me something interesting to do.”

"Right, because being the shiny new kid who's now a _cheerleader_ is so boring,” Josie scoffs. "I can see why you would need to constantly annoy me to keep your days lively.”

"Is that your passive-aggressive way of congratulating me on making the squad?” Penelope asks with that stupid smirk of hers. Josie only shrugs. "I mean you're a little late, but I appreciate it. Y'know I get to cheer at Lizzie's games now so we'll probably be seeing _a lot_ of each other — "

"Okay, never mind. Please stop talking now. Your voice is making my hand hurt even more.”

"Drama queen,” Penelope rolls her eyes, stopping at the nurse's office door and holding it open for Josie to walk through.

When Nurse Tig spots the two girls walking through her door, she instantly brightens and stands to greet them. While Josie's never spent much time here, she rather likes the school's nurse. It could be because the woman just gives off warm, kindhearted vibes or it could be because she's about the only person outside of herself and Lizzie that can actually bring a genuine smile to their dad's face. Either way, Josie finds being around her a pleasant contrast to being around the girl who's walked her here.

"Josie Saltzman,” Nurse Tig's smile morphs into a deep frown at the sight of her hand. "What happened to your hand, love?”

"She got so mad at me, she punched a locker,” Penelope lies, taking a lollipop from the glass jar on Nurse Tig's desk and popping it in her mouth as she jumps up to sit on the nearby counter. "Real _Fight Club_ stuff. Super dramatic.”

"That's not — I slammed it in my locker,” Josie explains, ignoring the way Penelope rolls her eyes at her. "It was an accident.”

"And here I thought someone had finally had enough of Miss Park's antics.” Nurse Tig chuckles, moving toward the small chest in the office and pulling out an ice pack. She places it on Josie's knuckles, applying the slightest bit of pressure. "Hold that there. I'm going to go get more hall passes so both of your teachers won't think you were just skipping class.”

Josie gives Nurse Tig a thankful smile, which the woman returns before disappearing out of the office. When she turns around, though, and is met with Penelope, still sitting atop the counter, making such a show of enjoying her lollipop, Josie has half a mind to follow the nurse. She's not exactly keen on being left alone with her ex-friend for the second time in the past fifteen minutes.

They last about thirty seconds in loaded silence — _why_ did every moment alone with Penelope feel like some big _Thing_ between them? — before Josie just has to say something to at least get Penelope to stop looking at her like that.

"Can I ask you something?” She figures while she has her, she might as well get the answers Landon couldn't really give her earlier. "Why are _you_ Raf's personal cheerleader? I mean that was Dana's job all of first semester and then you suddenly show up, make the JV squad and take away her _varsity_ athlete? How does that happen?”

"Okay first, it's called _spirit buddy_ , and second, the only reason I didn't make the varsity squad is because Dana's a hateful bitch who's punishing me for being better than her in every way by sticking me on the JV squad.” Penelope explains, lollipop waving in her hand as she does. "And as for Rafael, there was no way I was gonna be decorating the locker of some JV loser so Dana and I had to come to a little... _understanding_. Blackmail may or may not have been involved. I'm not really at liberty to say.”

"Yeah, but why _him_ specifically? I mean Kaleb's on varsity, too, and you actually know him — "

"You're fishing, Saltzman.” Penelope interrupts with an exasperated sigh. Per usual, Josie regrets engaging with her in the first place. "You always do this, ask questions you already have the answers to. You know why I wanted to be Rafael's spirit buddy, you just either can't admit it or don't wanna believe it.”

And because she's Penelope and she knows Josie probably better than she knows herself, she was right. Josie did the math in her head as soon as Landon told her the spirit buddy news — Penelope plus Raf equals Penelope and Raf plus Landon, which equals Penelope, Raf and Landon plus Josie; it all led back to her — but the idea that Penelope would be using Rafael to get closer to her after she so unceremoniously ended (or at least indefinitely suspended) their friendship just didn't quite add up.

"Or I can't believe it,” Josie counters, earning an eye roll from Penelope. "Because the answer I think I have to that question makes no sense.”

Before Penelope can respond, Nurse Tig (thankfully) comes back into the office. She hands Josie one of the filled out hall passes and frowns at Penelope as she hands her the other.

"How many times have I told you before? Off of the counter, Miss Park,” she chastises her, though there's an air of familiarity about it that Josie picks up on. She wonders if it has something to do with the nurse also doubling as their school's counselor (thank you budget cuts for turning two jobs into one) and the thought that Penelope could be going through something that's led her to have to turn to someone to talk to kind of saddens her.

(Not least because once upon a time, Josie used to be the one she turned to.)

Penelope hops off of the counter, scooping up Josie's backpack as she makes her way over to stand by the door. "Saltzman has her ice pack, we got our hall passes, and I got some candy. We done here?”

Nurse Tig nods with the tiniest of smiles that almost reads as fondness. "Yes, Penelope. I believe you girls are all good to go. But, Josie, do come see me if your hand gets any worse, okay? You both have a good rest of your day!”

The two girls each mutter out goodbyes before making their way out into the empty hallway. Josie tries to reach for her backpack that was currently slung over one of Penelope's shoulders, but the raven-haired girl swiftly avoids her grasp.

"What do you think you're doing? You're injured so I'm carrying your shit to your next class. Stop trying to steal my chivalrous moment, Josie.”

"I can take my own bag, y'know,” Josie says with a sigh. "And you don't have to walk me to class, Penelope. I'm fine. The ice is really helping.”

"I know I don't _have_ to,” Penelope smirks and Josie's stomach totally flips without her permission. "But I want to. I simply wouldn't be able to go about my day knowing I let an injured Josie Saltzman walk to class all by her lonesome.”

Josie bites the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from smiling. She reluctantly (very reluctantly) starts slowly walking toward her next class, resigned to let Penelope have this one. There was no sense in fighting her on it. Since she was determined to escort her to class, Josie will let her.

"Surely there are better ways you could be spending your free period than looking after me and my gnarly knuckles.” She says, attempting to make a bit of small talk.

Penelope laughs, and for the first time since she got back, things feel...amicable. Like, genuinely amicable.

There's no burning question on Josie's mind nor any sarcastic, borderline just plain mean remark on Penelope's lips — they're just talking. Just walking and talking like real acquaintances.

"Okay, honesty time. This isn't really my free period. I'm supposed to be in US History right now but — "

"Penelope,” Josie sighs. "Why did you lie? You know you could've just let one of the boys take me.”

"And let them be the ones to rescue the damsel in distress? No way,” she scoffs. "Plus, I know when your dad tries to give me detention for using you and your busted hand as an excuse to skip, you'll pout and flash those big brown eyes at him and get me off the hook.”

The two of them stop in front of the door to Josie's next class and Penelope carefully slides the brunette's backpack onto the shoulder of her good arm.

Penelope's hand lingers on Josie's shoulder for a second too long before she yanks it away and gives the taller girl a patented wink. "See you around, Josette.”

And Josie hates how such a simple act makes her yearn for more. She wishes things could always be like this, that Penelope can just go back to being the girl Josie knew — her best friend that cared _so_ much about her — but she knows the chances of that happening are slim to none. And she refuses to let herself get caught up in thinking things will ever be different.

Penelope knew what she was doing when she said the things she said to her when she got back. She hurt Josie, broke her heart, even, and she isn't allowed to be so easily forgiven all because of a kind gesture and a charismatic wink.

(No matter how bad Josie may want to.)

* * *

Normally, Josie loves going to Lizzie's games. She likes being the loud, annoying, over-enthusiastic sister cheering her twin on — with MG's equally enthusiastic help, of course — but ever since the JV cheerleaders started cheering at the girls' soccer games, Josie's found herself enjoying them a lot less.

"Why didn't that happen for any of us?” Hope asks distantly as she stares at the perfect line of cheerleaders clapping and chanting. Josie frowns, not totally following her train of thought. "I mean you're beautiful, and I'm beautiful and even Lizzie is beautiful, but — Penelope got _really_ hot. She's like a fully evolved gorgeous Pokémon or something.”

Josie rolls her eyes. She already gets enough of the _'Penelope is so hot'_ rhetoric from MG. If she has to start hearing it from Hope, she might snap.

"You think Lizzie is beautiful?” Josie asks in an attempt to steer the subject away from her evil ex-best friend.

Hope blinks, straightening in her seat as if she's only just realized what she's said. "Well yeah, but like I just meant — all women are queens, Josie, you know that.”

"Right, but Lizzie _specifically_ — " Josie's teasing is cut short when Hope reaches into her jacket pocket to take out a handful of crumpled dollar bills and shoves them in Josie's hand.

"Shut up, Saltzman. Go get me some candy,” the shorter girl mutters, eyes focusing back on the game. 

(But not _too_ focused on anything — or anyone — in particular.)

Josie's not cruel so instead of teasing Hope some more about her thoughts on her twin's appearance, she stands to go get a box of concession stand candy for the two of them to share. Hope was always more willing to spill her guts over sugar anyway.

"If MG, Raf, and Landon get back before I do — "

"Yeah, yeah, I'll tell them where you went. Just go get me my Twizzlers!” Hope waves her away, leaning forward with a certain amount of interest when Lizzie receives the ball from a teammate and starts sprinting toward goal.

Josie makes her way to the concession stand and gets Hope a pack of Twizzlers and Landon some milk duds without incident. Just as she's pocketing the change from her transaction (and sneaking a Twizzler for herself; Hope won't mind...too much) she feels an unmistakable familiar presence behind her.

"Funny meeting you here, Josette,” Penelope practically purrs as she sidles up alongside Josie.

"Don't you have some cheer to go recite?”

"The girls can handle it on their own. Besides,” she reaches over and grabs a Twizzler from the pack in Josie's hands and places it on her tongue. Josie only averts her eyes because, y'know, it's just weird to watch people eat. "I was in the mood for something sweet and I can't think of anything sweeter than little Josie Saltzman.”

"You know I'm starting to think Lizzie was right about you needing an exorcism because there is something definitely demonic about you now.”

"Josie, if you wanna tie me to a bed and see my eyes roll back in my head you don't need the excuse of an exorcism to do so,” she steps closer and Josie can smell her shampoo even over the strong waft of concession stand popcorn and nacho cheese. "I'm sure we could always arrange something more practical.”

"You're annoying, Park.”

"And you're blushing, Saltzman.”

Right as Josie opens her mouth to defend herself — she was _not_ blushing and she won't allow Penelope to even think for a second she was — a tall flash of dark hair, a bright smile, and a muscular frame zooms past her and heads straight toward Penelope.

"Hey Penny, I was wondering where you ran off to.” Out of nowhere, Jed came jogging over to wrap his arms around Penelope's waist and attempts to nuzzle his nose against the side of her neck.

Josie only knows Jed through Landon who only knows him through Rafael who, as he's said once before, thinks the teammate of his means well, but is as dumb as a box of rocks, and while she's never had an opinion before, she's starting to trust Raf's assessment.

"Down boy,” Penelope shoves him away, which only makes a cocky grin grow on his face. "Go get me a soft pretzel or something.”

"They don't sell pretzels at the concession stand, though,” Jed frowns before he perks up again. "But for my girl, I'll make it happen.”

Josie waits until Jed's run off on his pointless mission of acquiring a soft pretzel before she decides to comment on...all of _that_.

"So you're dating Jed now?” She asks, rather nonplussed about the whole situation.

"God, no,” Penelope grimaces then rolls her eyes. "Our dads know each other and mine seems hellbent on setting us up so now I have to deal with Jed following me around like a lost puppy. Although I am taking full advantage of his desperation to fulfill my every need, trust me.”

Josie scoffs, her fingers fiddling with the plastic of the opened pack of Twizzlers. "Your every need, huh?”

"Hey, mind out of the gutter, Josette.” Penelope raises an eyebrow at the implication but it's not Josie's fault. Maybe if Penelope didn't make everything that came out of her mouth sound so...suggestive misinterpretations like this would be avoidable. "Besides, I really don't need some boy to take care of something I'm fully capable of taking care of myself. And you know, some of us don't have the luxury of having some floppy-haired muppet at our beck and call — "

"Oh no, Landon and I haven't — I mean we aren't...what I mean is we're definitely _going to_ at some point but — " Josie stops, partly due to the fact that her brain was malfunctioning. "Why am I telling you this? We're not even friends.”

"It's my face. It makes people wanna tell me their dirty little secrets,” she shrugs, reaching for another Twizzler. Hope is gonna absolutely kill Josie for coming back with a half-empty pack. "Anyway, maybe Jed and I can double date with you and _Lan_ one night? Or, do you still get weird about boys being into me? Because the last thing we need is a repeat of that one summer camp. I mean you literally pouted for, like, the first two weeks — "

"I did not — " Josie cuts herself off, not wanting to give Penelope the exact response she was looking for. She reasons that the best way to defeat the evil that is Penelope Park is to fight fire with fire. Or in this case, flirtatious banter with flirtatious banter. Perhaps it's brave (or stupid; only time will tell), but either way, it's worth a shot. It's fine. It's just the two of them — if two ex-best friends engage in a little flirty banter but no one's around to hear it, does it even happen? — so it's not like anyone will ever know this even took place. "I did not pout for two weeks, okay? It was like a day at the very most. And it doesn't even matter anyway because I seem to remember that all that pouting ended up paying off in my favor in the end.”

She tosses in a wink — a _wink!_ — for good measure and Penelope looks well and truly impressed. Not that Josie was trying to impress her but still. She's quite proud of herself.

"Well, who knows what pouting might get you this time around?” Penelope wets her lips and Josie regrets engaging. She was a novice at this whole flirty warfare thing. Penelope was a master. She should've known better than to challenge her like this.

Right on cue — and right to her rescue — Josie hears footsteps behind her before Landon appears at her side, his arm finding its way around her waist. For a moment, Penelope's newfound frown makes Josie feel like she's doing something she shouldn't be. She almost wants to shrug out of her boyfriend's hold if only to get the cheerleader to stop scowling.

"Hey,” he greets them with that boyish smile of his. "Everything okay over here? Hope's getting antsy about her candy.”

"It's all good, Brandon. Me and Saltzman were just taking a walk down memory lane. Or, maybe a swim in memory lake is a more appropriate way to put it?” Penelope says with a wink aimed at Josie, who was _not_ blushing, it's just cold out and the wind makes her red. That's all.

"Uh, actually it's Landon — ”

"Of course it is,” Penelope interrupts, patting him on the shoulder before breezing past Josie with that stupid smirk on her lips. "See ya ‘round, lake buddy.”

Landon frowns, his grip on Josie's waist tightening. "Lake buddy? What was that all about?”

"Just Penelope being her normal, irritating self,” Josie sighs. "C'mon, let's go give Hope her candy before she turns into some sort of feral sugar beast and starts howling at the moon.”

The two of them make their way back over to the bleachers and enjoy the rest of the game amongst their little friend group. Hope and MG discuss how well they both think Lizzie is playing, Rafael steals everyone's snacks when he thinks they aren't looking and Landon asks Josie to explain to him exactly what's happening in the game since he has absolutely zero clue about the rules of soccer.

It's all great and fun and relaxing and Josie almost doesn't even notice the pair of green eyes that made a habit of glancing over in her direction for the remainder of the game.

Almost.

* * *

(That night, Josie dreams of a particular summer afternoon in her youth, only in her dream, she's much older and there's a Timberwolves pleated cheer skirt involved and this time her pouting leads to more than just an innocent peck on the lips.

Lizzie doesn't stop teasing her about having a sex dream — which it was _not_...sort of — about Landon. And not that she wants to, but Josie doesn't even bother to correct her.

Mainly because that would involve admitting to herself who the other participant in her definitely-not-a-sex-dream was and, well. Josie's not quite ready for that just yet.)

* * *

When the school year ends and summer rolls around, it ends up being really strange for no particular reason other than Josie can literally feel herself and Landon growing apart.

It's subtle, at first. They try to hang out but can't agree on what to do or where to go. They get into fights over the silliest things and never end up resolving whatever the particular issue was. Rafael tries to mediate whenever he can but Landon only gets upset with him for inserting himself into their relationship, which leads to him vaguely alluding to how Josie lets Lizzie insert herself into their relationship, which she absolutely does not. Then it leads to bigger things, like Landon putting his foot in his mouth and actually having the audacity to compare how Hope treated him when they dated to how Josie is treating him now.

That particular move didn't go over well with either girl. Or Lizzie. Or even MG.

It's all so stressful and confusing and is putting a real damper on their summer so Josie and Landon decided to take a break.

And almost immediately after they agree to, Josie tells Lizzie to call Hope and arrange a much needed girls night.

"And here I thought you and the hobbit were really gonna go the distance,” Lizzie says, unscrewing the cap on the _Powder Puff Pink_ nail polish even though Hope _specifically_ asked for anything but that one.

The three of them are on Lizzie's bed, the latter sitting across from Hope at the foot of the bed while Josie occupies the area near the headboard. The twins' dad is out for the night (which he may or may not be spending his rare free time with a certain school nurse; he refused to say when he left the house) so along with manicures by Lizzie and the homemade facial clay Hope got from her aunts, the girls are allowing themselves to indulge in wine coolers, courtesy of Josie and her alcohol plug — aka Kaleb.

"Yeah, I thought so too. What exactly happened anyway? You two seemed good up until, like,” Hope pauses, thinking over her next words carefully. "Up until a few months ago.”

Lizzie scoffs under her breath. All three of them know what's not being said.

_Everything was good until Penelope came back._

"I think — I don't know, it feels like something is _missing_. I mean I know we're only in high school but is it wrong of me to expect us to have this...spark between us? Because at this point it almost feels like we started dating just for the sake of having something to do. Not to mention how he just _always_ wants to hang around me, which I guess boyfriends are supposed to want to do but it's just a bit suffocating.” Josie explains, scrolling through the many playlists on her phone to find one suited for girls night. "But, whatever. We're just taking a break, though, so hopefully, once this is all over we'll appreciate each other more and the spark will be there and everything will be back to normal because our friend group is way too tangled for even one of us to have a problem with each other.”

Hope groans when Lizzie starts coating her fingernails with the soft pink polish but allows the blonde to keep going. Josie wants to make a whipping sound but she really cannot risk teasing the two of them without backup. She's smart enough to know they'd just somehow turn it around and end up ganging up on her.

"Not to go all Dr. Phil on you, Jo, but, I'm pretty sure you were just using Landon to fill a void that had been left in you since...well, you know,” Lizzie says, still fully focused on Hope's new pretty pink manicure. "And now that said void is somewhat being satisfied by a certain evil temptress's reemergence in your life, it's got you questioning where you stand with Kirby.”

"Wow, that was weirdly insightful, Lizzie. I didn't know you had the ability to exhibit that kind of depth for anyone but yourse— _ow_!” Hope's backhanded compliment is cut short when Lizzie slaps the back of her hand.

"Anyway, like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” Lizzie huffs. "Maybe you should try and get some closure with that she-demon, that way you can fully open your heart to that sentient jar of mayonnaise you seem determined to call boyfriend.”

Josie blinks. Outside of the insults, Lizzie actually had a point. Maybe the thing Josie needs, that thing she's been chasing ever since Penelope got back, the reason she entertains conversations and sarcastic remarks and all other nonsense, is simply closure. She has questions that Penelope still hasn't answered and maybe if she got those answers, she'd finally be able to move on from whatever hold her ex-bestie has on her.

"Well, closure's gonna have to wait until school starts again because I'm pretty sure she's not even in the country.” Josie sighs, finally settling on a playlist to act as the soundtrack to their manicures. It's summer which meant Penelope was probably somewhere foreign with her parents taking part in their annual Park Family summer vacation.

"No,” Hope shakes her head, the sudden movement causing Lizzie to groan. "She's still in Mystic Falls. I saw her and Jed at the mall the other day.”

Josie can't help the frown that forms on her lips. Maybe Penelope undersold her relationship with Jed when Josie asked back at Lizzie's game. Not that she particularly cares who the girl dates or doesn't date, but Jed's kind of a hot commodity and she's never known Penelope to be modest about anything, especially if that thing were dating one of the most popular boys at school.

"Oh my god, I just had _the best_ idea!” Lizzie gasps. Her eyes go wide and a mischievous looking smirk grows on her lips and Josie knows not a single good thing could come from whatever cursed thought has just crossed her twin's mind. "Let's _go to her house_!”

Josie shakes her head, immediately shutting down the idea. "Lizzie, no — "

"Josie, yes!” Lizzie whines in response. "C'mon, this is what girls night is for, Jo! Driving by your ex's house and harassing them for breaking your heart.”

"Okay first, she's not my ex. She's just a girl I used to be friends with — that _we all_ used to be friends with. And second, she did not break my heart, she just — "

"Josie,” Hope interrupts, looking most unconvinced. "The girl _shattered_ your heart. It's okay to admit that. We're all friends here. This is a safe space.”

Suddenly, Lizzie jumps off the bed, recapping the bottle of nail polish in her hands — even through all that she actually managed to finish Hope's manicure — as she walks over to their shared closet to grab a change of clothes for herself.

Hope — who was supposed to be the good and rational and levelheaded one between the three of them — shrugs yet again while ducking the unsuitable hoodies and sweatpants Lizzie was tossing onto the bed. "And I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe Lizzie's right. Maybe going over to talk to Penelope wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.”

"See? Even Hope agrees with me and she's a known buzzkill so how bad of a plan could this really be?” Lizzie smiles, ignoring Hope's newly painted pink middle finger. "So here's what we'll do. You will go change into something casual yet cute — I'm thinking that expensive looking POLO sweatshirt mom got you and those jeans that make your thighs look ridiculous — and then I can braid your hair — because you look totally adorable with your hair braided — and then by that time Hope's nails should be done drying that way she can drive us all to the Park family mansion where we will roll up and get you your closure!”

Josie pouts and looks to Hope for any possible last minute help in dismissing this incredibly dumb idea, but she comes up empty. Hope only continues to gently blow on her nails to dry them faster. Josie should've known better than to expect her to side with her over Lizzie.

Without any objections, Lizzie claps excitedly and pulls Josie off of the bed, her hands already reaching up to undo her messy bun and get started on her braided hairstyle.

Josie knows there's no point in arguing. She's lost this battle. Definitively.

"This is gonna be _such_ a good idea, Jo, you'll see. By the end of tonight, you'll be thanking your beautiful genius of a sister for her genius plan. I promise.” Lizzie preens proudly.

And Josie really, _really_ , hope she's right.

* * *

Lizzie always had the tendency to exaggerate things a bit (aka _a lot_ ) so when she gave Hope directions to Penelope's house — ” _it's literally a giant mansion on a hill”_ — it didn't come as a shock that Hope had trouble finding it.

"You know, you could just give me an address like a normal person,” Hope groans, slowly driving down the street with the headlights off, just in case. "Even though you are anything _but_ normal — "

"Shh!” Lizzie reaches up from the backseat to swat aimlessly at Hope's shoulder. "Look, if we knew the address, we'd give it to you but we don't so deal with it, Mikaelson. We literally haven't been here since we were, like, ten.”

Josie would offer help, but she's been quiet the entire ride. Mainly because she's so nervous she's worried if she opens her mouth she might vomit. There are a lot of times where she's wondered why she let Lizzie rope her into doing something ridiculous, but none more so than right now.

"Oh! There!” Lizzie's finger nearly pokes Hope's eye out as she excitedly points at the definitely-not-a-mansion-on-a-hill coming up on the left side of the street. "I knew I would know which one it is when I saw it.”

"Lizzie,” Hope sighs. "That is _not_ a mansion. Nor is it on a hill.”

Lizzie just scoffs as Hope parks just in front of the mailbox and turns the car off. "Well it's a big ass house and we're definitely on some sort of steep incline, so I was still kind of right.”

Hope rolls her eyes and mutters some colorful words of discontent before she turns to Josie, who's still picking nervously at her cuticles in the passenger's seat.

"Okay Jo,” Hope says reaching over to still Josie's busy hands. "You ready?”

Despite the incredibly strong urge to shake her head, Josie nods about as confidently as she possibly can, all things considered.

"Yeah,” she squeaks out. "But, uh, just — remind me again what I'm supposed to do?”

Lizzie pokes her head up from the backseat so Josie can better see her as she delivers the instructions. "You're just gonna go up, ring the doorbell, ask to speak with Satan and tell her how you feel.”

"Right,” Josie nods before looking to Lizzie once again. "And how _do_ I feel?”

"Ugh, Jo,” Lizzie rolls her eyes. "You feel like you want her to stop acting as if you're a little toy that she can play with whenever she gets bored. And give her an ultimatum. Either she stops acting like a demon and actually works on your friendship, or she leaves you alone. For good.”

Hope tilts her head and narrows her eyes at Lizzie. "You are being so insightful tonight and it's honestly terrifying.”

"Shut up,” Lizzie says before turning back to Josie. "Now go. Make me proud, sis.”

Josie takes a steadying breath before exiting Hope's car. She walks slowly up to the front door, taking the time to remember exactly what she wants to say. Or, rather everything Lizzie told her to say.

Despite their past, the Park home isn't actually all that familiar to Josie. Sure, there were sometimes she and Lizzie would go over for playdates or Penelope would invite Josie over after school to do homework, but with Penelope's parents usually always gone for work, most of the time, they all hung out at the Saltzman house.

Still, standing in front of the pristine white door reminds her of the last night she spent with Penelope. The night her mom dropped Penelope off at her house and Josie walked her to the door and the shorter girl had hugged her and told Josie she loved her. And had Josie known that night what she knows now, she would have hugged Penelope tighter, told her she loved her too and maybe would have made the way she said it match the way she felt it.

But, hindsight and all that.

After a quick glance back to the car — and Hope and Lizzie's slightly obscured but supportive thumbs up — Josie rings the doorbell. The sound echoes around the porch and she's honest to god considering sprinting back to Hope's little Volkswagen before the door swings open and she's missed her window of opportunity.

Instead of her parents like Josie was expecting (great, the plan is already off to an unexpected start) Penelope answers the door. Josie stares at her, mouth half hanging open because it would seem all forms of greetings have escaped her.

"Josie?” Penelope's eyes are wide, an unmistakable look of panic in them. Despite the fact that she is most definitely not dressed for it (though because she's Penelope, even sweatpants and a crewneck sweater look presentable on her) she steps out onto the porch, quietly closing the door behind her. Normally Josie would expect her to make some quick remark or flirtatious comment but instead she only fidgets with the hair that's coming loose from her ponytail. For a moment, Josie forgets why she's here, forgets the pep talk Lizzie gave her in the car and is only concerned with whatever is making Penelope act so...un-Penelope. "Josie, you can't be here.”

"I just — I just wanted to talk to you.” She says, finally finding her voice.

Penelope rolls her eyes, thoroughly annoyed. "Then you should have just called me like a normal person.”

And, yeah, that might have been simpler, but Josie actually has a valid reason for why she didn't just call.

"I don't have your number.”

Penelope sighs and takes a step forward causing Josie to take one step backward, leaving one foot off of the raised porch. "Josie, you need to leave. Seriously.”

There's always a point, Josie's learned, in any interaction with Penelope where Josie stops being passive and starts being direct. It's the point where she gets fed up with metaphors and sly digs and all around pointless behavior and just gets to the point of the conversation.

Right now, given Penelope's current unexplained evasiveness, Josie's reached that point.

"Okay Penelope, why are you acting so weird? I don't even want to come in or anything I just wanna say something to you — "

Josie's interrupted when the door behind Penelope swings open. Her stomach drops slightly when she meets Mr. Park's eyes. Even though it's been years, she still gets an uneasy feeling whenever she sees him.

"I was wondering who had knocked on our door so late at night and look who it is,” he smiles though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Little Josie Saltzman. Although not so little anymore, I suppose.”

Josie swallows down the newly formed lump in her throat. "Hi, Mr. Park. I'm sorry for popping up like this, I just — just wanted to speak to Penelope about a few things.”

He frowns and looks over to Penelope who's taken a sudden interest in the porch underneath her feet. "Oh, I didn't know you two still talked. Penelope told me you weren't friends anymore — "

"We're not,” Penelope quickly says. Josie's taken aback by her behavior — the shake in her voice, the way she's almost completely folded into herself. Josie's not an idiot. She's clearly stumbled into some strange unspoken _Thing_ between Penelope and her father. "Look, Dad, can you give us some privacy? I'll be back inside in a minute.”

"Sure thing, sweetheart,” Mr. Park gives Josie one last once over — well, at least now she knows where Penelope got her condescending smirk from — before disappearing back inside.

Josie folds her hands over one another just to busy them. She really wants to reach out, wants to touch Penelope and comfort her in some way because whatever's just happened was something she never meant to cause. It feels like she just got the shorter girl into trouble somehow and she just wants to make it right.

"Uh, I know our relationship is kind of weird and that, at times, we're barely cordial with each other, but you do know you can always talk to me, right? About anything — "

Penelope sighs, but Josie is undeterred. She means what she's said, and has much more say; if she stops now, she might never get it out.

"And, y'know, I don't know what that was just now, but if you wanna talk or vent or whatever, Hope and Lizzie are actually in the car and we're having a girls night that you are more than welcome to join. We don't judge — well. Hope and I don't judge. Obviously Lizzie does her own thing most of the time but — "

"I really don't know how much clearer I can make myself, but I'll go ahead and give it a try,” Penelope interrupts, whatever smug aura she lost in the presence of her father coming back to her like water to a sponge. "I want you to go away, Josie. I don't wanna hang out with you and your stupid sister and her little sidekick, I don't wanna braid each other's hair and eat popcorn and watch _Mean Girls_ , and I sure as hell don't wanna confess to you whatever repressed feelings you think I have. All I want is for you to get as far away from me as you possibly can.”

Josie actually stares at her for a moment, eyes already fast on their way to spilling over, because she's waiting for the punchline. Penelope told her herself, she preferred Josie in her life, in whatever capacity she could have her, so she doesn't think she would be this cruel to her now without there being some sort of catch. With Penelope, she would always pair an insult with something slightly sincere to ease the blow of whatever harsh thing she'd said. And Josie's waiting for it. She's waiting for something — a wink, a smirk, an oddly flirtatious comment — but nothing ever comes. All she gets is green eyes staring back at her coldly, almost daring her to say something back.

But Josie doesn't. She swallows down the huge knot in her throat and nods, turning around to _go away_ like Penelope asked.

Then, she thinks better of it.

"Actually,” Josie turns on her heel to face her former friend. She won't go out like she did the day Penelope got back. If she wants to hurt her, fine. But Josie isn't simply going to take it on the chin without sticking up for herself. "Screw you, Penelope. All I ever do is try to show a little bit of care toward you and you always throw it back in my face. So, fine. I get the message loud and clear. Consider this the last time I'll ever bother you. Enjoy your night.”

As she stomps away, she makes sure to do so quickly before Penelope can look at her with sad green eyes and Josie takes it all back without hesitation.

Because deep down, foolishly or not, Josie knows Penelope couldn't have meant to be so _heartless_. She thinks about the nervous look on Penelope's face when she saw Josie standing on her doorstep, the uncomfortably thick tension when her dad joined them. She thinks that maybe, just maybe, some of her vitriol was performative, visual definitive proof in case anyone questioned whether or not the two girls were _really_ no longer friends.

And while it doesn't make it OK, at least it gives Josie _some_ comfort knowing maybe Penelope isn't all the way gone. Maybe there still was a smidge of a chance some type of friendship could be salvaged.

That is if she ever decides to speak to Penelope again.

When Josie gets back to the car, she slides into the passenger seat without a word. The entire car is silent until Lizzie decides to be the one to break the tension.

"So,” she starts. "What happened? How'd it go?”

"I, uh,” Josie thinks for a moment. She could tell them. She could detail exactly how weird Penelope was and how even weirder her dad was and how she thinks she was stupid to listen to Lizzie and open herself up to let Penelope tear out her heart, yet again. But she doesn't. She doesn't think it would be fair to anyone involved. Josie would much rather just go home and forget any of this ever happened. "I don't — can we just go?”

Hope and Lizzie share a glance before Hope starts the car and heads off back to the Saltzman home.

And oddly enough, for as much of a shitshow as that was, Josie thinks she actually did end up gaining a bit of clarity on things. She might not have all the answers just yet, but some of the pieces of the mysterious puzzle that is the reason behind the great fall of her and Penelope's friendship are revealing themselves.

Josie only hopes that by the time she gets all of the answers to all of her questions, she still cares enough to want them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew!!! this chapter was longer than the first, but might not be as long as the next? maybe? who knows. surely not me!!
> 
> also, three things i wanted to say:
> 
> i. yeah, i know penelope is being Irritating at the moment (even reading my own work back i was like, "um is she Good???") BUT this is process people. all Wild behavior will be explained soon! i mean i _did_ say this was gonna involve enemies to lovers.........
> 
> ii. writing lizzie and hope in this fic is so fun, honestly, so please do not be Shocked if some more hizzie-centric one-shots from this verse pop up..... ~~(even tho i swore this was the only legacies fic i'd write)~~
> 
> iii. speaking of one-shots, the dream that was mentioned in this chapter? it exists. completely written out. will it ever see the light of day? remains to be seen!!!
> 
> anyway, thank you in advance for any kudos/comments you leave and thank you for reading!


	3. iii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> josie tries (and fails) to avoid penelope, there's a homecoming dance, and history really does repeat itself.

When Josie woke up the morning of the first day of her junior year of high school, she woke up with a certain amount of determination. That morning, she decided she'd dedicate herself to, well. Herself.

Even though over the summer things had panned out with Landon and the two were back together, Josie was still determined to focus more on the things that _she_ wanted.

She wanted to excel academically this year, wanted to maybe run for student council, wanted to be a better girlfriend and friend and just concentrate on her own life, which, despite her previous feelings on the matter, was actually really good. That summer she learned to be thankful and appreciative of everything she had — a wonderful sister, a loving boyfriend, an amazing group of friends; a dad that loved her unconditionally.

Josie realized she had a lot of good going for her already. She didn't need to go seeking _more_ in all the wrong green-eyed places. What she had already was more than enough.

(Even if the hollowness in her chest she's felt since sometime in eighth grade just doesn't seem to want to go away.)

So it's the first day of school and Josie has a new, optimistic lease on life she intends to carry throughout the year.

Lizzie, however, does not.

"I can't believe it's the first day of the second most important year of my high school life and I'm pulling up in this absolute death trap of a car," she complains from the backseat of Landon's car. It's not a death trap at all, it's just old and makes strange noises and if he's not careful, is prone to randomly smoking at times, but besides all that it's relatively safe.

Landon chuckles, going the speed limit despite Rafael's pleading to _"please go faster than thirty-five, man"_.

"You didn't _have_ to ride with us to school, Lizzie," he says. "You could've taken the bus."

She scoffs. "I'd rather die in this shit-mobile than ride the bus. At least here, there's Raf. Arriving with the star QB should save me some face."

Josie smiles at Lizzie's patented overdramatizing of every situation in her life. She loves her infinitely for it.

After ten more minutes of Lizzie and Landon going back and forth on the safety (or lack thereof) of his car, the latter finally pulls into the student parking lot and comes to a stop in his assigned spot for the year. The key is barely out of the ignition before Lizzie all but jumps out.

"See now, _that_ is what I was meant to be riding to school in!" She says, gesturing to the expensive-looking black Jeep parked in the spot opposite Landon's. "Whoever's car this is, I'm making it my mission this year to be their best friend. This is the kind of car my best friend should have. Take notes, Landon."

Landon frowns, taking Josie's backpack out of the trunk for her and throwing it over his shoulder. "Notes on what? How to be your best friend? I didn't think I was ever under consideration."

Lizzie shakes her head, looping her arm with a very amused Rafael's. "And with that attitude, you never will be."

The four of them walk in, greeting their various friends and acquaintances on the way to their respective lockers. Rafael and Lizzie have theirs close to the athletic hallway, while Landon's is near the music hall and Josie's is up by the English classes. Landon offers to walk her to her locker but Josie politely declines and tells him that she'll see him at lunch if they don't have any classes together beforehand.

(She also tells him it's because she doesn't want him to have to walk all that way between their respective lockers and risk being late for homeroom, when really she's just trying something else new this year: being more independent.)

Josie makes her way up the school's main stairwell, feeling rather peppy as she shoots MG a text before rounding the corner to the hallway her locker resided. Just as she pockets her phone and looks up to avoid bumping into the handful of students currently roaming the hall, she sees an all too familiar head of raven hair standing in front of the locker directly adjacent to hers and Josie has to wonder what god she pissed off to just continually have the (dis)pleasure of always running into the source of her beat-up, still healing heart.

Because of course the day she decides to start fresh and make this year better than the last, the universe would have her assigned a locker next to Penelope's. Of course.

So much for that good year.

There's a split second where Josie considers turning around. She could always visit her locker later, maybe even bring Lizzie as backup, just in case. Or, hell, she's the _principal's daughter_ , surely she could talk her way into getting a new locker somewhere a little less hostile — 

"Josie?" Penelope's voice catches her attention and she realizes it's probably too late to make a quick exit now. Not at least without it being obvious that Josie was actively trying to get away from her. Which actually wouldn't be surprising given how the last time they saw each other Penelope insisted she ' _go away'_. Josie doesn't think she could be blamed for running in the opposite direction at the sight of her. "Are you okay? You're just, like, standing there staring off into space — "

"I'm fine," Josie snaps. She raises her chin a bit before walking over to her locker, actively ignoring the way Penelope watches her every move.

"Wait, are we locker neighbors?" Penelope gasps theatrically, closing her locker shut and leaning against it to face Josie as she stops at her own. She doesn't pay the shorter girl any mind, just focuses on inputting her combination. "What are the odds of that, huh?"

Josie side-eyes her before swinging her locker door open. 

"Right. So, uh," Penelope continues once it becomes obvious Josie wasn't going to engage. "How was your summer?"

Josie scoffs. Surely that was a joke. One, of which, she had every intention of ignoring but just because she actually is curious, she'll allow herself to ask Penelope _one_ question.

"Why is your locker here anyway? I thought cheerleaders got lockers on the athletics hallway."

"We do, but I'm taking AP classes this year so they gave me a locker amongst you smart folks," Penelope answers with a smile before gently nudging Josie's arm. "And you didn't answer my question about your summer, Josette."

"It was fine," she answers with a shrug before turning to face Penelope. "I mean outside of the night I showed up at your house and you treated me like I had a contagious disease before you kicked me off your doorstep and acted like a complete bitch, my summer was rather nice."

Josie fully expected some sarcastic response or even a semi-flirty comeback of some sort, but instead she gets silence followed by a flash of hurt across Penelope's face and she immediately feels bad.

Who was she kidding, Josie isn't built for this. Whatever possesses Penelope to say hurtful things and just as quickly act as if she never did, Josie doesn't have that. She's not a complete narcissist and actually feels remorse over the shitty things she says. Like now, for example.

Right as she fixes her lips to start apologizing, Penelope (shockingly) beats her to it.

"I was kinda hoping you wouldn't bring that up, but you're right. I was a huge bitch to you when you were just trying to be nice to me and you didn't deserve it. Like, at all. So, I'm sorry for that, Josie. Seriously."

Josie blinks, a bit lost for words. Not even in her wildest dreams (not that she ever actually dreamt about this exact situation...that often) did Josie think Penelope would not only acknowledge what she did but apologize for it too. Maybe Josie wasn't the only one trying to turn over a new leaf.

"Apology accepted." And then there's a moment where Josie's brain is telling her to end it there, to not say another word. They've both made their peace and to have any further conversation would just be opening herself up, yet again, to potentially letting Penelope toy with her heart but — "H-how was your summer?"

Well. Josie's brain was never quite as loud as her heart.

Penelope lifts a shoulder, still nonchalantly leaning against her locker. "It was alright. It was one of the rare summers we didn't go away, so I might not have any fun stories to tell, but I can't really complain."

"I heard that you were hanging out with Jed. Didn't get any fun stories from that?"

And, yeah, Josie might be trying to change but she's still _Josie_. Her curious nature ( _especially_ when it comes to Penelope) was always gonna win out.

"I mean he's a guy so I just did all the normal stuff girls do with guys who are obsessed with them. We went on a couple dates, we saw, like, four different movies in theaters, had tons of sex in the backseat of his car — " Penelope stops, unable to contain her laughter. "I'm sorry, but you should see your face right now. You're wearing your signature pout."

Josie rolls her eyes and makes a concerted effort _not_ to pout, least she give Penelope more ammunition.

"Okay, sorry, I was just trying to wind you up and I knew that'd do the trick." Penelope apologizes and Josie wonders why she would think saying _that_ , of all things, would wind Josie up. "I didn't do any of that stuff with, Jed. Well, sort of. We did go on like two dates and he did try to feel me up once but I kneed him in the crotch so I think he got the message about _that_."

"Well there goes our school's power couple," Josie offhandedly remarks, only realizing afterward that her tone is bordering something that could possibly be described using a word that began with the letter _J_.

"Oh I'm sure you and Landon will make sure to carry that title with pride," Penelope says, full of sarcasm, before folding her arms across her chest. "Anyway, I was actually thinking I might become one of those innocent young women of virtue that saves themselves for that _special someone_. Or maybe not. Who knows what'll happen if I get bored."

"Well I can only hope you don't get bored then." Josie closes her locker and once she faces Penelope and sees her smirk is looking smugger than it usually does, Josie realizes the error of her words. " _We_! I meant to say _we_. As in the general public. I — I personally don't care what you do, I'm just — y'know, just looking out for whatever poor boy ends up in your clutches."

"How philanthropic of you," Penelope nods, almost mockingly. Clearly Josie's pathetic excuse of an excuse wasn't at all believable. Josie doesn't even get the chance to defend herself and her lame excuse before Penelope's hand is on her arm, giving her a gentle squeeze as she moves to walk by her. "Look, I'll see you later, Jo."

Josie watches Penelope disappear down the hallway and actually turns around to (gently) bang her head against her locker a few times. She swears to herself that along with all of the other changes she's determined to make this year, she intends on having at least _one_ conversation with Penelope that doesn't leave her feeling like some pathetic teen rom-com character.

(And, honestly, that might be the most unrealistic of all of Josie's goals.)

* * *

Two months into the new school year, Josie achieves one of the goals she set for herself before the year started: she ended up on the student council and became the student body treasurer.

The campaign was a quick one, only lasting the first couple weeks of school, but between Lizzie threatening the girls _and_ boys soccer teams to vote for her sister, Hope getting the advanced art students to vote for her, and Rafael turning on the charm to get the football, basketball _and_ baseball jocks to check yes beside her name, Josie won the role in a landslide.

(She also took a look at the ballots after the elections and noticed nearly the entire cheerleading squad (except Dana, but that was to be expected; Dana hates her) voted for Josie too.

She chalks it up to them simply going along with whatever the football players were doing because any other explanation Josie simply wasn't interested in exploring.)

"I can't believe you get to be treasurer while I'm stuck being class historian." Ever since the elections, MG's been upset about his elected role. He ran a good campaign against Kaleb, but in the end it just wasn't enough. "My mom is a literal politician and yet I've been relegated to glorified photographer for the entire school year."

Josie rolls her eyes at his dramatics. He clearly has been spending too much time with Lizzie lately.

"We're just juniors, MG. We won't have a real shot at the good positions until next year," Josie reminds him. Truthfully, she never really wanted to be treasurer — who's really just the class party planner — but she knew it was the easiest (and most fun) position she could run for. Next year Josie has her sights on a more reputable position: the presidency. "Besides, if you really wanted to be secretary that bad, you should've taken Landon up on his offer to get the band kids to vote for you."

MG huffs, shifting the streamers and packages of deflated balloons to one arm so he could hold the gym door open for Josie. "I _did_. It's not my fault your boyfriend has like three friends _including_ you and Rafael. I tried bribing Penelope to get the cheerleaders to vote for me since she's captain now but, of course, she said their votes were already spoken for."

Josie scoffs, pointedly ignoring the mention of _She Who Shall Not Be Named_ and the fact that apparently she spoke for the entire cheerleading squad when it came to voting. "You were gonna cheat to win?"

"It's politics, baby. Cheating's _the only_ way to win," MG says, sounding like some poorly written mayor in a bad noir film.

Before Josie can tell him as much, she notices the gym is full of...a lot of people that _aren't_ on the student council's party committee. There are some football players blowing up balloons with their mouths while the others suck helium out of the previously inflated ones and tell each other dirty jokes with their brand new squeaky voices. The girls soccer team was currently helping the other council members hang up streamers and various banners, which, while confusing, is actually kind of helpful. And then there were the cheerleaders who were helping the art kids paint decorations.

And seeing as how it was Josie's job to set up the gym for this weekend's Homecoming dance, she's really, really interested in how all of these non-approved people ended up here helping out.

"Kaleb!" Josie calls over the giddy looking secretary and MG scowls as soon as he sees him.

"What's up, Jo? Like what my boys are doing with the balloons?" Kaleb asks, blissfully ignorant to Josie's displeasure with him at the moment. "And I know what you're thinking, but I swear I'm about to tell them to stop sucking down the helium because I know that shit is expensive — "

"No, Kaleb, I don't care about the helium," Josie interrupts with a sigh. "What are the football players doing here in the first place? They're not on the party committee. And neither is the soccer team or the cheerleaders, for that matter."

"Yeah, some secretary you are just letting anyone come in here and mess up our stuff," MG adds bitingly.

Kaleb rolls his eyes at MG before turning back to Josie. "Look, the team is here because I thought they could help with the balloon arches, Lizzie said something about helping with the dance increasing her chances of winning homecoming queen, and you're gonna have to ask Pen why the cheer squad's here because I actually have no idea."

Josie pinches the bridge of her nose before taking a calming breath and looking down at the clipboard in her hands. She could work with this. It's why she got voted into the position in the first place; because they believed in her ability to handle situations like this. Granted, she doesn't think they took into account her sometimes overbearing twin, her rather eccentric group of friends and her literal pest of an ex-best friend, but — Josie could handle this. She is her mother's daughter, after all, and Caroline Forbes was legendary for throwing amazing school dances.

"Fine. Kaleb, you and your boys stay and finish the arches," Kaleb nods dutifully and heads back to the high-voiced group of teenage boys. Josie turns to MG, who's already backpedaling toward Lizzie and the rest of the soccer team. "MG, go make sure Lizzie isn't being too...Lizzie. I'll go handle the cheerleaders."

MG gives her a salute before jogging over to where Lizzie stood atop a ladder, barking instructions on how to _perfectly_ hang a streamer. She really hopes MG can handle all of...that.

After Josie takes a second to compose herself, she walks over to where the advanced art students were busy painting the handmade decorations she specially requested for this dance. It was _supposed_ to be just the small group of them that Josie entrusted Hope with recruiting, but leave it to Penelope to somehow appear out of smoke and throw a wrench in Josie's plans.

The entire cheer squad must have come straight from practice because they were all dressed in their Stallions track jackets and spandex shorts that were really pushing the school dress code. Then again, since it was technically after school Josie supposes those rules didn't really matter. Especially to Penelope who's standing over the busy group of artists and cheerleaders with her own jacket completely unzipped revealing a matching Stallions sports bra and an unreasonable amount of tan skin.

Now Josie gets why the mostly male group of art kids weren't complaining about the cheer squad's presence.

"Hey, Josette," Penelope greets Josie with a bright grin, paintbrush waving aimlessly in the air, when she sees her coming their way. It takes everything in Josie not to notice the burgundy paint streak going across the shorter girl's stomach. "Like what we've done with the decorations? Hope says we're naturals."

Hope looks up from her work and meets Josie's eyes only to silently mouth a emphatic _'nooooo'_ which Josie knows is a lie. Hope's just trying to stay in her good graces.

Josie folds her arms over her chest, her eyes trained on Penelope's if only to avoid being caught staring at her half-dressed state. "What are you doing here, Penelope?"

"Me and the squad wanted to help out. C'mon, don't pout, Jo. It's free labor." Penelope answers innocently even though she's always been anything but. When Josie raises an eyebrow, Penelope sighs and grabs Josie by the wrist to pull her aside. "I also might have overhead Lizzie talking in the locker room about how she was gonna come help, tell everyone she helped, and then get herself voted homecoming queen."

"So?" Josie shrugs. She still doesn't see how that's a good excuse for the cheer squad to show up unannounced. "Lizzie's wanted to be homecoming queen since she was old enough to understand what a tiara was. That still doesn't explain why you're here."

"Josie, she's gonna take credit for everything _you've_ done and use it to push her own stupid agenda. Or worse, she's gonna completely take over and push you out of your own position as head party planner." Penelope says as if it were obvious. Josie recognizes the fierce glint in the girl's eyes and can't help but feel the teeniest bit endeared. Much like when they were growing up, Penelope was once again playing Josie's _White Knight_ — especially when it came to Lizzie's behavior in regards to Josie.

Penelope's always been like this, protective over Josie in instances she thinks she can't protect herself. Josie would've thought with how weird things were between them some, if not all, of that would've gone away, but clearly it was a well-engrained instinct within her.

But Josie isn't ten years old anymore and she doesn't need the raven-haired girl to come to her rescue. She was perfectly capable of standing up for herself now.

"I'm just looking out for you," Penelope steps closer, her hand landing gently on Josie's forearm. "You're kind of doing a kickass job of organizing this whole dance and I just wanna make sure when everyone's having a great time grinding against each other and drinking the punch they've definitely spiked, everyone knows it was because of you. No matter how much I consider all of this to be the literal death of feminism."

Josie snorts and is immediately mildly horrified by the sound. "Right, so now _the cheerleader_ is gonna lecture me on feminism?"

"Ouch," Penelope's hand flies up to her heart as she dramatically stumbles backward. "That's low, Saltzman. Even for you."

"Well, you've gone low on me so many times, I thought I'd finally return the favor." Josie winces, and not for the first time while talking to Penelope, wishes she had the ability to go back in time and not say the thing she's just said. "You know what I mean."

Thankfully before Penelope can lay into her for that possible Freudian Slip, a loud bunch of commotion at the gym entrance grabs both of their attentions. Josie spins around to see her boyfriend and three other members of the school's concert orchestra stumbling through the doors, their hands full of cords, instruments and other various equipment. When Landon spots her, he comes over immediately, his guitar case in one hand and an amp in the other.

"Landon, what are you doing here?" Because that's just what Josie needs. More uninvited guests. Maybe she should just let Lizzie take over this thing. It would be a lot less stressful that way.

"Uh, MG said you guys hadn't picked a band for the dance yet, so I thought I'd come to your rescue and offer my services!" Landon explains with a smile so hopeful Josie doesn't know how to break it to him that MG was seriously misinformed and that _she_ had in fact decided on having a DJ emcee the dance instead of a live band. "Oh hey, Penelope. I didn't know you were on the party committee."

"Oh I'm not. I just go where I please," Penelope smiles but Josie knows her well enough to know it's that really weird forced one she does whenever she's feeling awkward. "Well Josie since your knight in shining armor has arrived, I guess I'll go help Hope finish up those decorations."

"Uh, Penelope," Josie reaches out to grab the girl's wrist before she can fully walk away. Her heart's beating fast in her chest, like she shouldn't be touching Penelope like this — no matter how innocent — in front of Landon. Like it means _something_ when it should mean nothing at all. It's a weird feeling to say the least. "Thank you."

Penelope gives her a genuine smile this time and gently tugs herself out of Josie's grasp. Josie watches her rejoin the rest of the cheerleaders and artists as Landon steps beside her, a curious look on his face.

"I still can't believe you two were ever best friends," he says, almost amused at the thought. "I just don't get how that happened."

Josie knows he meant it innocently, but her first reaction was to get defensive about it. Broken or not, she was still protective over her and Penelope's friendship. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just that your personalities are so different," Landon shrugs and waits a beat before asking the question he surprisingly has managed not to ever since Penelope got back. "What's, uh — you know you've never told me about her. About what happened between you two. I mean you said you were friends and that she moved, but it just seems like you left out some details."

Josie hums just to let him know she heard him. It's not that she was purposely keeping the details from him, it's just — Josie has long realized the entire detailed story of her and Penelope's friendship leaves a lot open for potential misinterpretation and, really, it was just easier for Landon to get the quick hits version.

"You do know I'm smarter than I look, right?" Landon chuckles, forced and awkward sounding. He steps closer to Josie, his voice dropping in volume. He was obviously determined to get the answers he wanted. "Sometimes it feels like everyone knows about this unspoken _thing_ between the two of you except me. I can tell she was clearly a big part of your life and, I don't know, I guess I just wanna know more about that part of you."

Josie's eyes venture down to the clipboard in her hands. Not that she particularly ever does, but she _really_ does not want to have this conversation with him right now.

"Josie, remember what we said when we agreed to get back together? That we were gonna be honest with each other?"

"Landon, I'm — I'm trying to organize things around here right now, so can we have this talk at another time? Maybe when I'm not so busy?"

Landon opens his mouth to say something but ends up saying nothing at all. He just nods, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

For a moment, Josie feels bad about blowing him off like that, but she actually _was_ busy and if he only knew how talking about Penelope felt like picking at a still-healing wound, he wouldn't ask. She understands his curiosity and can somewhat appreciate him attempting to know the parts of her life that weren't so pretty, but the thing about the ugly bits is that they were often painful. And Josie's had enough pain as it pertains to Penelope to last at least half a lifetime.

So maybe it isn't a full-blown _fight_ , but when Landon grabs his guitar and his amp and shuffles away like a puppy that's been denied a treat, Josie knows they're not in a good place anymore. She knows they'll probably avoid each other for the rest of this little after school project time and exchange an awkward goodbye as he heads home with Rafael and she and Lizzie get a ride from Hope; she'll probably get home and do her homework and eat dinner and get some semi-apologetic text from him before bed. It's practically their routine nowadays.

But Josie can't let herself be concerned by that. She is nothing if not pragmatic, and right now, she needs to focus on this weekend. After it's over and everyone's lauded her for being an excellent class treasurer and executing a flawless dance for everyone, then she'll patch up whatever rips and tears have been made in her and Landon's relationship.

Easy as that.

In theory.

* * *

The night of the dance comes around and Josie's a nervous wreck. Everyone assures her it's going to be fine, but Josie needs more than just fine. She needs things to be _perfect_.

(Because, maybe, for quite some time now Josie's felt like a lot of things — a lot of really important things to her — have been out of her control and if she could just make this one thing, this one special thing, turn out the way she wants it to, it'll help lessen that hollowness in her chest.)

When their group — comprised of herself, Landon, Lizzie, MG, Hope and Rafael — arrive at the school gym, Josie feels herself let out a sigh of relief that everything actually looked like she pictured it in her head.

Kaleb and the football players managed to make some pretty flawless balloon arches, all of Lizzie's micromanaging paid off because the streamers hung perfectly, and Hope got the cheerleaders to paint some pretty impressive looking decorations that adorned the corners of the gym. Even the DJ she picked (once she broke the news to Landon, of course) seemed to have the place at just the right vibes.

All in all, Josie kind of killed it.

And true to her word, now that's she seen that the dance has gone off without a hitch, Josie allows herself to relax and have some fun.

She dances with Landon, and cheers on MG and Kaleb when a circle forms around them and the two of them perform a dance routine she's certain they planned to bust out tonight, and pretends not to notice Hope and Lizzie taking sips of what was most definitely spiked punch. Basically, Josie's having the time of her life.

Right up until the universe decides that's enough peace for her.

The DJ announces over the mic that the next half hour was gonna be all slow jams. He encourages everyone to grab that special person and hold them tight — but not _too_ tight, as the chaperones were quick to point out — and sway with the music. So Josie, so blissed out the amount of fun she was having, cuddles right up to Landon without a second thought. And for the first time in a while, she feels good in his arms. She relaxes her head against his shoulder, enjoying the rhythmic way they both move back and forth and the comfortable weight of his hands on her waist. And it's all good and _nice_ except when the couple in front of her twirls out of the way, and Josie sees Penelope for the first time tonight.

"This is nice," Landon says, either completely oblivious or blatantly ignoring the way Josie knows she's tensed up. "I know we've been rocky lately but — "

Whatever he says next is completely lost on Josie because her attention was solely elsewhere. Given that they had somehow managed to avoid each other up until this moment, Josie had no idea Penelope was even here, let alone that she'd apparently come as Jed's date. 

The two of them were dancing just like everyone else in the gym — Penelope's head was rested on Jed's chest and his hands were splayed out across the exposed skin the cutout sides of the black dress she wore allowed. They look...content. Maybe even happy. And the sight makes Josie's heart stutter in her chest in a way that reminds her of summer camp.

" — aaand you're not even listening to me, are you?" Landon's suddenly curt tone pulls Josie's focus away from _Jenelope_ and back to him. He frowns before turning so he could see just what was so important that she tuned him out. "Of course."

Well there goes Josie's nice night.

Landon storms off, weaving through the dancing couples and exiting the gym to go out into the empty school hallway. Josie follows, though she isn't sure why. Landon rarely gets upset, and the last time he did was before their break over the summer. She thinks maybe she should do things different, maybe let him cool off on his own, but she wasn't sure how he might interpret that, so she followed.

"Landon — " Before Josie could even start her apology (though, what is she even apologizing for?) Landon raises a hand, his brow furrowed deeper than she's ever seen before.

"Do you wanna know what I was saying while you were busy staring at Jed and Penelope?" He doesn't wait for an answer, just continues talking. "I was trying to tell you how I wanted to plan my future with you, decide on colleges and stuff together, because despite all of our issues lately — I love you, Josie."

Freshman year, Josie wrote a paper on the concept of flight-or-fight so she sort of considers herself an expert on the matter. And right now, all of her instincts are telling her to do both.

Landon takes her (stunned) silence as an opportunity to keep going even though she desperately wishes he would stop.

"I know it sounds strange, but I do love you. Even with all of our issues, I — I know we can work it out. I know that soon we'll be out of this school, away from things and people that aren't good for us — "

Josie assumes before confessing all of this, Landon played out a few different ways this would end for him in his head. He probably hoped for a total show of reciprocation but figured he'd only get one of Josie's patented agreeable half-smiles and a pitiful hug and a promise that she'd try harder to make things work.

He probably never considered she'd literally run from him.

Josie, completely unable and unwilling to deal with all of _that_ , turns and heads for the nearest exit doors. Landon's calling her name, begging her to come back with an apology that he'd take it all back and never bring it up again, but that's the thing isn't it? Once the cat's out of the bag, it's hard to put the feral thing back in.

When Josie gets past the heavy double doors and steps out into the cold Mystic Falls night, she feels like she can breathe again. She's beyond thankful Landon didn't chase her as she leans against the outside of the school and tries to even her breathing. She's halfway to normal when she hears the doors click open and her lungs once again seize up assuming it's Landon come to propose or something.

"There you are," Josie would never admit it, but she's never been so happy to hear Penelope's voice. It was almost as if it was the one thing she needed to hear right now. "I saw your boyfriend come back into the gym alone and I got curious."

Josie turns her head just enough to meet Penelope's eyes. Even underneath the school's harsh floodlights she thinks the way Penelope's done her makeup tonight makes her look even prettier in that effortless sort of way than she normally does.

(Then she thinks about how Penelope really never wears much makeup and that she must have tonight for Jed.

The makeup, the dress, even the way she's curled her hair — she got all dolled up for _him_.

Josie's lungs squeeze uncomfortably again.)

"You okay?" Penelope steps closer, her hand noticeably flexing at her side, like she was unsure if she should place that hand on Josie's arm or shoulder or — whatever. Josie thinks it cruel how Penelope chooses to be bold every other moment of her life except right now when Josie needs her to be.

For a moment, Josie contemplates complete honesty. She isn't sure what could come out of venting to Penelope of all people, but she could really use the ear and she knows no matter how strained their relationship may be, Penelope will always be there for Josie if she needs her.

"Landon told me he loves me," Josie exhales. It's all she says, doesn't go into any further detail than that, but it's Penelope she's talking to. She doesn't need to be detailed. Penelope was always good at reading between the lines, finding the problem in the things Josie _didn't_ say.

Penelope's arms fold across her chest, shivering a bit. Whether that was because of the cold temperature outside or the thought of Landon confessing his love, Josie couldn't tell you. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not with you," Josie answers truthfully.

"Hm. That's fair." Penelope takes another step closer, so close Josie can see her breath puffing from her lips in perfect little clouds. "You know I was saving this for me and Jed for later, but do you want something to take your mind off of the lovesick muppet?"

Josie raises a curious eyebrow. Penelope smirks and reaches between her cleavage — Josie looks away for a moment because she's polite — and pulls out a cigarette.

"Really?" Josie deadpans. "Not only do you smoke cigarettes now, but you think that cancer stick is gonna make me feel better?"

"Ew, no, it's not a cigarette, genius," Penelope scrunches up her nose and Josie's glad for the shitty lighting. That nose scrunch has been known to set off unwanted flutters in her chest. Penelope hands her the white little rolled up thing and — oh. Josie gets it now. "It's a joint, Jo. It's weed."

"Because that's so much better," Josie sighs, fingers holding the joint like it was some sort of ticking bomb.

"It is, actually. Here," Penelope pulls a lighter from her cleavage and Josie idly wonders just how much stuff she's got tucked away in there. Not that she was curious enough to want to find out or anything.

Josie watches Penelope light the joint, still in Josie's hands, before she takes it from her and brings it to her lips. The whole act is sort of mesmerizing and Josie can't help but watch, completely fascinated.

A cloud of smoke rolls smoothly from Penelope's lips and Josie's own part slightly. Her heart is having a field day in her chest and her hands suddenly feel clammy despite the chill in the air.

"See? Easy as that." Penelope hands Josie the joint and, as to not set herself up for any potential teasing, Josie tries to mimic exactly what she's just seen Penelope does. Minus all the effortless allure.

Now, Josie's been drunk before, but she's never been high. Hell, she doesn't even technically know _how_ to smoke, which is painfully evident by the way she quickly inhales and just as quickly coughs up what she suspect might be her left lung.

Penelope at least has the decency to not laugh _directly_ in her face. Through her watery eyes, Josie can see the shorter girl slide right up beside her and reach to take the joint from her hands.

"You gotta inhale slowly, Jo," Penelope waits until Josie's done nearly dying to raise the joint to her lips. She's a little tipsy thanks to Hope and Lizzie pushing their _special punch_ on her, but she's not stupid, so Josie instinctively raises an eyebrow, suspicious of Penelope's intentions. "Don't be weird, I'm just trying to help you. Now, inhale — _slowly_."

Josie does as she's told, leans in — and tries to ignore that she's taking a hit from a joint held between her ex-best friend's fingers — and slowly inhales the smooth, warm smoke and allows it to fill her lungs in a way that makes her feel whole. She's staring into Penelope's eyes the entire time making the act feel about a million times more intimate than it has any business being.

"How was that?" Penelope asks, her voice shaky and barely above a whisper. Had Josie not already had a few sips of Lizzie's spiked punch and a hit of whatever's in this joint, she would swear she's fully intoxicated by Penelope at this very moment.

Josie blinks, her mouth uncomfortably dry and she knows it has nothing to do with the fact that she just smoked. "That was — yeah, that was nice."

Penelope absolutely preens, like she's so proud of the fact she got Josie 'Goody Two Shoes' Saltzman to smoke an illegal substance on school grounds — and that she actually _liked_ it. She brings the joint to her lips again, taking a brief inhale before expertly blowing smoke into the night air. Josie takes in the entire sight — Penelope's perfect jawline, the pout of her lips when she exhales, the stretch of her neck whenever she tilts her head back slightly, eyes fluttering shut — and suddenly feels every bit of sixteen.

And by that she means that little switch puberty installed in her brain when she turned twelve was flicked on and Josie's mind starts to wander with thoughts she doesn't think she should think about any girl. Let alone Penelope. So she racks her brain trying to come up with something to say that doesn't pertain to pouty pink lips or tan skin and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn't moved?" Josie herself has actually spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about that exact scenario. She wonders if she would've ever started dating Landon or if Hope would've been as integral in their friendship circle as she is now.

(But Josie mostly just wonders if she'd be happier.)

"I've thought about it once or twice," Penelope shrugs, handing the joint to Josie. It's barely lit, totally useless at this point but Josie's thankful for it if only just to have something to do with her idle hands.

"And?" Josie presses, teeth worrying at her bottom lip.

"And I think everything would be the same, except us," Penelope says it sure, like she's thought about it definitely more than just once or twice as she claimed. "I don't think you and I would've stayed friends."

Josie frowns. She's probably somewhere between sober and high (comfortably intoxicated, maybe?) but she's sure the scenario Penelope described doesn't deviate at all from their actual reality. "Then how is that different?"

Penelope's eyes — and Josie will swear to this — honest to god _twinkle_ when she looks over at Josie, her perfectly manicured right eyebrow raising slightly. "We wouldn't have stayed _friends_."

And then Josie gets what Penelope's trying to imply and it makes her stomach twist in a way she can't decipher is good or bad.

(Who's she kidding; it's good.)

Josie wants to make a quip about whether or not in this alternate universe does Penelope's dad exist. She wants to ask if he's still a weirdo who frowns at the sight of Josie and argues with her dad at Christmas parties and all but nudges his daughter into kicking her former friend off of their porch. But Josie thinks being that detailed would be cruel so she settles for a more amicable approach.

"Pen, you'd tell me if something was really wrong, right? Like with your dad?"

The air between them gets way thicker, suddenly cloaks them both in an uncomfortable staticky tension. Josie regrets ever bringing it up. She should've just asked Penelope to elaborate more on that whole _'not staying friends'_ thing.

"Wrong like what?" Penelope asks, eyes casting down toward the gravel underneath her heels. Josie won't say exactly what she means for fear of assuming the worst and being wrong; Penelope won't say it because apparently she's hellbent on denial. They're both way too stubborn for any real progress in this conversation to be made. "Josie, if this is about what happened over the summer, I already apologized — "

"I don't want another apology, Penelope. I want an explanation," Josie's short tone gets Penelope to look up at her. So much for amiable. "I wanna know why when you came back you threw away our friendship. I wanna know why when it's just the two of us, we can enjoy each other's company like we used to but whenever anyone else is around, you act like I'm some pariah. I wanna know why you're always pushing me away."

Penelope purses her lips and for a moment, Josie thinks she's actually about to get an answer out of the girl. Then Penelope sighs, takes the joint from Josie, re-lights it, and takes a hit off of it.

And that was a clear enough response in itself.

"You're a coward, Penelope." Josie says, jaw clenched. She means every syllable, too. For all of her confidence and bluster, Penelope couldn't find it in herself to be brave enough to answer Josie's simple question.

"Seriously, Josie?" Penelope groans as if _she_ were the one being jerked around here. "You're really gonna get mad at me for not spilling my guts to you in the school parking lot?"

"No, I'm mad at you because you can't just be honest with me, Penelope! That's all I'm asking for. Honesty."

"You know it's funny how you want me to be honest with you when you're not even being honest with yourself."

Josie's a bit taken aback by that accusation. Though she has to applaud Penelope for expertly trying to turn the tables on her. "Trust me, when it comes to you, I've been nothing _but_ honest with myself."

"Really?" Penelope smirks, like she's been challenged with something that isn't really a challenge at all. Josie stands firm, head held high and everything. "When I got back from London, you didn't tell me you were dating Landon, Rafael did. The day you slammed your hand in your locker, you didn't even put up a fight for Landon to take you to the nurse. Oh, and let's not forget the way you casually keep tabs on me and Jed. And imagine my surprise when Hope let it slip that the night you came over to talk, you had broken up with Landon. And even now, the guy tells you he loves you and you somehow end up out here asking me to tell you things you haven't even admitted to yourself."

"That's — all of that is different." And it was, it really was. But Josie doesn't voice exactly how because even in her head her reasons sound like misguided excuses.

"Is it? Josie, if I were to tell you everything right now — the whole truth — would you even know what to do?" Penelope doesn't wait for an answer because the question was clearly rhetorical. "I might not exactly be honest with other people about it, but at least I don't lie to _myself_ about how I feel about you."

Maybe if Josie were sober and able to think rationally and her heart wasn't already in survival mode thanks to her fight with Landon, she would've taken Penelope's words as an open door. She would've asked her former best friend just exactly what those feelings are and ended this little spat on a considerably higher note than it started, but unfortunately Josie's veins are swimming with the _Saltzman/Mikaelson Special Punch_ mixture and the hit and a half of weed she smoked, so the only thing Josie chooses to be at the moment is indignant.

"You're wrong. I know exactly how I feel about you, Penelope," Josie says, strong and firm so Penelope knows she means it. Penelope only rolls her eyes and takes another hit and the way she exhales and stands there like she doesn't have a goddamn care in the world infuriates Josie to no end so she says the only logical thing she can think of. "I _hate_ you."

Penelope looks concerned for the briefest of seconds before she pulls that stupid smirk of hers and Josie's even angrier. Or at least she _thinks_ what she's feeling is anger.

"I know," Penelope replies, calmly and confidently like Josie's paid her some sort of compliment.

It's possible it'll end up being something she regrets later, but Josie simply narrows her eyes at Penelope before stomping back inside the school. She wasn't particularly too keen on going back to the dance, but Josie would rather deal with avoiding Landon with the help of Hope and Lizzie (and maybe even MG) than keep Penelope company with that particular conversation lingering between them.

But then on her way inside she passes Jed and watches him head outside the double doors and Josie's stomach twists because there's no telling what those two were going to get into out there alone with a joint and whatever else Penelope had hiding in her bra.

And for the first time possibly ever, Josie finally decides to label that suffocating feeling she gets in her chest: jealously.

Josie is jealous that Jed gets to dance with Penelope and go outside and be happy and smoke with her and probably kiss her and touch her in ways that'd definitely get them suspended if a chaperone were to catch them. Josie's jealous of Jed for having the experience she's been too afraid (who's the coward now, Saltzman?) to admit she wants for herself.

So when she's back inside the gym standing next to Lizzie while she runs down exactly what she hates about Dana's dress while Hope chastises her for being mean, Josie does something else she never thought she'd do: admit that Penelope was right.

* * *

The thing no one tells you about coming to terms with a huge part of yourself — like say, one's sexuality — is that it's really, really confusing. And overwhelming. And scary. And exciting. And pretty much every other damn emotion in existence. But it also comes with complete clarity.

The night of the homecoming dance, when it was all over and Rafael drove everyone home because he's a saint and didn't drink because he knew his friends were more than likely going to need a safe ride home, Josie couldn't sleep. She stumbled into her room, exchanged her dress for sweats (and didn't even bother fighting Lizzie for shower privileges; whatever she'll bathe in the morning) flopped down onto her bed and...did not fall asleep.

It's not that she wasn't exhausted, because she definitely was, it was just that Josie couldn't stop thinking about, well — Penelope.

Like someone truly in the throes of gay panic, Josie thinks about everything — _everything_ — that happened between her and Penelope that she lied to herself about. All of the moments of clear jealously she simply chalked up to not wanting to lose Penelope's friendship. Every time she stared too long, too hard at the green-eyed girl that she told herself was fine because — her best friend was pretty, okay? She was allowed to think that. The ridiculously sentimental Christmas gift she had given her, the fact that Penelope was literally her first kiss, the sex dream she had about her — Josie has to almost laugh at how deep in denial she was.

(She even spares a thought for those few months freshman year when she clearly felt _something_ for Hope but explained it away as her looking for someone to fill the empty best friend spot in her life.)

Penelope really was right. Josie had the nerve to accuse her of being dishonest when Josie's been lying to herself since she was six.

But the thing is, figuring this out was all good and well — and when Josie wakes up the next morning after getting about two hours of sleep, she actually _does_ feel better — but Josie's a little (a lot) unsure of what to do now.

She figures she should go in steps, most to least important — even though everything at the moment seemed kind of ridiculously important.

The most important thing she had to do now that she‘s operating with a degree of clarity she didn't have before? End things with Landon. For good this time.

That one had little to do with the fact that Josie's coming to terms with her attraction to girls and more to do with the fact that it's something she should've done a long time ago.

When she sees Landon that Monday after homecoming, he's expectedly apologetic.

He doesn't take the idea of breaking up well, swears up and down if they just communicated more they could make it work. Josie tells him she's sixteen and she doesn't want to have to try so hard at a relationship — neither of them should — her heart admittedly wasn't all that in anymore. He says 'fine' but Josie knows it's not so she avoids him as to avoid any potential guilt trips from him. It's a little harder given that their friend circle overlaps so much, but she makes it work.

The next item on Josie's list? Telling someone about her not-so-little revelation.

She thinks it'd be helpful, to say it out loud and get it in the open and stop feeling like she's hiding this huge secret even though she kind of is. The obvious choice of who to tell first is Lizzie so Josie asks her to go shopping and because it's Lizzie she says yes with a degree of enthusiasm only she could. Somewhere after buying a pair of matching yellow Converse (yes, they were teenagers now but they were still _twins_ ) and before Lizzie finishes unwrapping the cinnamon pretzel she bought at the food court, Josie just blurts it out.

"So I think I like girls," Josie says it casually, as if she were telling Lizzie it was going to rain or that she had some cinnamon on her face. She doesn't meet her twin's eyes — because Josie doesn't know how she'll handle Lizzie being anything other than supportive — and just swirls the straw around in her mango icee instead. "Actually, I don't think. I know. Like, for sure."

Lizzie's painfully quiet for a moment before she speaks. "Any girl in particular? Because I figured freshman year you and Hope kind of had something bubbling there for a minute, and now with you and Landon being broken up for good — "

"No, I — I'm not talking about Hope," Josie makes a mental note to put a pin in this particular topic because that was definitely Lizzie's jealous voice and — why would she be jealous about Josie and _Hope_? However, she needs to make it through this conversation first. "I'm just saying, in general, I like girls in the same way that I like boys. I thought you should be the first to know, you being my sister and all."

"Josie, you know I'll always love you no matter what, right? Girls, guys, people who wear socks with sandals — as long as you're happy, I'm happy. Also I kind of love being the first to know. Feels like I just snuck an exclusive." Lizzie says, hand over Josie's atop the slightly sticky food court table they're sat at and when she meets her eyes, she can tell she's being sincere in her own Lizzie way. It isn't exactly the huge emotional conversation she thought they'd have about this, but it was still very much on brand for them. "Now what girl brought this revelation on exactly? Because even though I know who it was and you probably know I know who it was, I'm going to be a good sister and let you tell me without me making an assumption."

Josie takes a sip of her icee. She likes mango but she likes strawberry more. Though she couldn't get it without thinking of a certain someone's choice in flavored lip gloss.

"It doesn't matter. Penelope hates me," Josie says, sadly. And it was true.

Normally whenever they were in a weird spot, it wouldn't matter to Penelope. She would still show up in that out-of-thin-air way she always seems to and find some way to tease Josie until her cheeks burned red. But ever since homecoming, it was obvious Penelope had been avoiding her.

And Penelope _never_ did that.

Whenever Josie goes to her locker, Penelope's nowhere to be found. She later finds out it's because she's been storing her stuff in Jed's locker instead of her own and that hurts Josie more than she cares to really dwell on. The afternoons where Josie and MG sit on the bleachers and wait for Lizzie to finish up soccer practice, Josie's more than a little aware of the way the cheerleading squad actually runs through their practice on the field next to them with no interruptions due to their captain doing whatever she could to get Josie's attention. Even in the lunchroom, Raf sits with Josie, MG, Hope, and Lizzie because he says Penelope isn't talking to him — Rafael aka Penelope's former link to Josie — right now for some reason.

Basically Penelope's going out of her way to be out of Josie's way and it sucks a little more than when she first came back but still less than when she left for Europe the first time.

Which leads Josie to realize what final thing she has to do that might be more important than the first two combined: get Penelope to speak to her again.

"Hm, I don't think it's possible for Penelope to hate you," Lizzie hums, reaching across the table to grab Josie's icee and take a sip. "Be mad at you or avoid you because of whatever soap opera-y melodrama you two have going on? Yeah, now _that's_ entirely possible. But, for what it's worth, you guys' relationship is always, like, an apology away from going back to normal so whatever's been done can definitely be un-done."

And, for all of her...quirks, Josie really does appreciate the all too rare moments Lizzie offers words of wisdom.

Still, even if she could manage to corner Penelope long enough to talk to her, what would Josie even say? _Sorry I piled on you about whatever weirdness is going on between you and your dad, I just was deflecting because I hadn't yet admitted to myself that I have feelings for you that go way beyond friendship_? No way in hell Josie could say all that to Penelope's face.

There was still time, though. They still had two more weeks before winter break — and Josie's almost certain Penelope's family will be spending the holidays far away from Mystic Falls — which was more than enough time for Josie to come up with some epic speech to...

Well. Josie isn't actually sure what she hopes could come from making up with Penelope anymore. Friendship? A relationship? Just another kiss to maybe get this decade long crush out of her system? Is Josie even ready for any of that?

Maybe that was another item she should put on her ever-expanding to-do list: figure out what exactly it is she wants from Penelope.

* * *

That Saturday night, when Josie is several episodes into a binge rewatch of The Office, she gets a text from Rafael.

Normally that wouldn't be weird except it ends up being very, very weird. He asks her for a favor: to pick up the letterman jacket that he left over at a friend's house. Only that friend just so happened to be Penelope. The same Penelope he claimed had been avoiding him since homecoming.

And no matter how much she wants to say no, Josie feels like she kind of owes him one for dumping his brother so she sucks it up, puts on some sweatpants — as if she needs to look nice for Penelope especially considering she probably wasn't going to actually answer the door; she'd probably leave the jacket on the porch or throw it in Josie's face without even saying hello — grabs her dad's car keys and drives to the Park home.

Being here, parked in front of the family's mailbox, is so reminiscent of that night last summer Josie feels kind of sick. She takes a little solace in the fact that there's only one car in the driveway (it's the same nice Jeep that occupied the space opposite Landon's at school; _of course_ it ended up being Penelope's car) so at least she's confident she won't have to deal with Mr. Park. Still, he wasn't exactly the only Park that felt some kind of way about her at the moment.

After psyching herself up — _don't be a coward, Saltzman, it's just a jacket; this is honestly gonna take, like, two seconds_ — Josie finally makes her way up the small path and rings the doorbell.

When the door swings open, Penelope's there, hair up in a small bun and a too big Stallions sweatshirt on (Josie has to physically stop herself from wondering if it's Jed's. She's less than successful.) that reaches the middle of her thighs — or rather the Spongebob patterned pajama bottoms covering them.

"Josie?" Penelope says her name in a way that makes Josie's heart ache. Or maybe it's the way she says it plus the red tint of her puffy eyes. Josie instantly forgets every ill or awkward feeling she has toward her because — did she just interrupt Penelope _crying_? "What are you doing here? Don't tell me Hope and Lizzie made you come over again."

"Uh, no. Rafael said he texted you about me coming over to pick up his letterman jacket that he left here." Josie explains even though she finds it odd Penelope had no idea she was coming when Rafael clearly said she would be expecting Josie.

Penelope sniffs, her brows furrowing together. "Raf didn't leave his jacket here. In fact he hasn't been over my house in, like, weeks."

Josie should be mad at this obvious setup, and she will in fact make the time later to be _very_ mad, but right now Penelope's clearly upset and trying to put on a brave face and Josie's way more concerned with that.

"Hey, are you okay, Penelope?" The shorter girl nods completely unconvincingly and Josie sighs. She's so tired of them doing this — this being lying — to one another. "Hey, don't — look, you don't have to talk to me, because I know ever since homecoming we've been even weirder than usual, but if you need to talk, I'm here."

Penelope's bottom lip quivers and Josie swears she hears her own heart break. "Don't you have somewhere better to be than here offering me your shoulder to cry on?"

"Not really, no," Josie shrugs. Her binge-watching could always wait. "Plus, I'm never too busy for you. Or anyone. That's just the type of friend — or strange acquaintance in our case — I am."

There's a moment of hesitation before Penelope sighs and steps aside to let Josie walk past the threshold and into the house.

Josie stops just short of entering, standing face to face with Penelope on the porch. And because she really just can't resist saying it — "Promise you won't kick me out this time?"

Penelope rolls her eyes and gives Josie a light shove to push her inside.

When Josie was small, the inside of the Park home always seemed so dauntingly large that she used to call it a castle. Not much has changed now that she's older, only now she knows it's isn't a castle, just a stupidly fancy home that she didn't even know existed in Mystic Falls.

Josie's so busy gazing up at the chandelier in the foyer — because who just has one of those? — she almost trips over the knee-high stack of cardboard boxes at the end of the stairs. Blame it on her past trauma, but Josie instantly recognizes them as the type people get when they move and she quickly spins on her heel to face Penelope. "Are these moving boxes?"

"Yep," Penelope must see the panic on Josie's face (oh _god_ not again) so she just as quickly explains further. "They're not for me, they're for my dad. My parents are separating so he's moving out. That's why you've caught me looking a hot mess in my Spongebob jammies."

She says it with a forced laugh and Josie steps closer to her, laying a comforting hand on her arm.

"Penelope, I'm so sorry." And Josie means it. Penelope's dad might be a tool, but she'd never wish for her family to split up.

"Yeah, me too," Penelope shrugs. "I mean it is all my fault so — "

"Don't say that, Pen." Josie immediately cuts her off. She may not know the whole story, but she won't have Penelope blaming herself for it. Not while she's around.

"Josie, my dad can't even look at me sometimes. And that just pisses my mom off, so they fight. They fight literally all the time because of me," Penelope says, and Josie gets the feeling she's been holding that in for some time. "I've done everything he's asked me to. I made new friends and I joined new activities and — none of it mattered because I'm so embarrassingly bad at hiding shit."

Josie doesn't say anything. She gets that Penelope needs to vent, needs to say the things Josie's wanted to hear _so bad_ , so she stays quiet and gives the girl all the time she needs to say them.

"It was easier in London. I think he was less worried about me there, so he kind of just left me alone, which meant when I met this guy who I thought was cool and then discovered his sister was cooler, my dad never suspected a thing. But as soon as we got back to Mystic Falls..." Penelope's lips curl up into a small amused smile and she's looking at Josie with such fondness, she thinks she might actually melt under her gaze. "You make me so obvious, Josie. I can't hide my feelings about you like I can with other girls."

Josie swallows the lump in her throat. There was simply a lot of information — Penelope's had a girlfriend before? Or maybe _girlfriends_? And she has feelings for Josie? Like the kind her father doesn't approve of? — for her to process at the moment.

"And I get that you might not be ready to say it, or hear it, or even entertain the thought, but, you wanted honesty so there it is." Penelope finishes, her eyes casting down to the ends of her sweatshirt sleeves that were completely engulfing her hands. Josie doesn't think she's ever seen Penelope look so...small.

Josie wants nothing more than to make her feel better but she doesn't know the right words she could say — if there even were such thing as the right words — to make Penelope's situation suck less. She'll freely admit she's a little outside of her depth here.

But then Josie turns her head and gets a glimpse of the pool right outside of the sliding doors leading out to the backyard and she gets the most brilliant idea.

"Is your pool heated?" She asks, because it _was_ almost the middle of December, after all.

Penelope blinks, totally thrown off by the random question. "I — yeah? I think it is. At least that's what the guy told my mom when he installed it — "

"Great! Let's go swimming!" Josie says suddenly holding her hand out for Penelope to grab. She doesn't, though. She just stares at her like she's just spoken a foreign language. "C'mon, swimming used to always make us feel better when we were kids and the pool is literally right there."

"I'm aware of the pool's location, I'm just confused as to why you wanna get in it. I mean you didn't exactly come prepared for a dip and it's like freezing outside — "

"C'mon Penelope, I thought you were supposed to be the _cool one_ between us," Josie teases, knowing full well that would get Penelope to at least consider it. She had to protect her _cool girl_ rep, after all. "Look, I'll just borrow some of your clothes when we're done and you said it yourself, the pool is heated so there's no excuse. You love swimming. I love swimming. Let's go swimming." Josie sing-songs. And Penelope smiles knowing she herself said those exact words to Josie all those summers ago.

"Okay," Penelope relents, her hand poking out of her sweatshirt sleeve to interlace with Josie's. "Let's go swimming, I guess."

Josie grins, way too proud of this accomplishment of hers, and pulls Penelope through the living room and out into the backyard. They both stand at the edge of the pool (still holding hands but Josie's trying not to think about that at the moment) just staring at the smoke wafting off of the pool's surface. It's a full minute before Penelope drops Josie's hand and turns her expectant gaze toward her.

"What?" Josie asks, her hand feeling quite lonely all of a sudden.

Penelope raises an eyebrow and gestures to the hoodie Josie's wearing. "C'mon Saltzman, you strip first since this was your idea."

Josie takes a deep breath — _this is fine this is fine thisisfine_ — and pulls her hoodie over her head, followed by the t-shirt underneath. As she's pulling down her sweatpants, Josie considers that it's entirely possible she overplayed her hand here. Sure the _idea_ of stripping down to one's underwear in cold weather to make one's ex-best friend feel better about their parents separating sounds good on paper, but now that she's standing at the edge of the pool in nothing but a bra and non-matching undies (maybe Lizzie was on to something when she said a girl should always wear a matching set, just in case) Josie's not so sure that idea was a good one.

Little too late to turn back now, though.

Josie starts slow, dips a toe first just to see how warm the pool's water actually was, and when she doesn't immediately turn into a popsicle, she reasons it's okay enough to get in fully. Once she does, she wades around a bit before facing a still fully dressed Penelope.

"Okay. Now it's your turn, Park." Penelope rolls her eyes and reaches for the hem of her sweatshirt to pull up, so of course Josie chooses this moment to spin around and explore the opposite side of the pool.

Josie hears Penelope scoff from behind her but remains examining the water filter in front of her.

"Don't wanna see the show, Saltzman?" Penelope taunts.

"Just giving you some privacy." Which she was. Josie's father raised her to be polite, after all.

"You know how many people would kill to see me in my underwear? And you're just turning that down willingly?"

"You mean people like Jed?" Josie winces. This was supposed to be something fun to take their minds off of life drama and she had to go and bring him up.

There's a splash and the unmistakable sound of someone swimming toward her before Josie spins around. She's a little thrown off by how close Penelope ends up actually being but she's not exactly complaining.

"You really don't like him, do you?" Penelope asks, almost amused by Josie's blatant jealousy. Before Josie can respond — she's really more neutral on Jed than outright hateful — Penelope frowns, thoughtfully tapping her finger against her chin. "Wait a minute, the two of us in a body of water while you pretend you're not jealous of some boy that has a crush on me? Am I experiencing deja vu here?"

"Ha-ha, very funny. You should skip college and go right into a career as a comedian," Josie deadpans.

Penelope laughs, her eyes practically gleaming in the moonlight. "Wow, you flatter me, JoJo."

The second the nickname leaves her lips, Josie's chest blooms with a certain feeling she hasn't felt since the night she hugged a half-asleep Penelope on her porch after a less-than-ideal Christmas party several years ago. Just hearing Penelope call her that chips away at the hollow feeling that Josie's grown accustomed to living with.

Now, most of the time, Josie is shy and quiet and can go completely unnoticed if she's feeling particularly timid, but — but then there are times where she's daring and bold and does things that'll make her blush later when she thinks about them. And if most (ok, maybe _all_ ) of those moments of outgoing bravery occur whenever she's within ten feet of Penelope, then that's totally her business.

So here she is, in her ex-best friend/ex-childhood crush's swimming pool at almost nine at night staring into green eyes and it all feels so much like a particular summer camp afternoon she experienced years ago that it just feels like the natural thing to do when Josie leans forward and presses her lips against Penelope's.

It's much like the kiss they shared that afternoon. Josie can taste Penelope's strawberry lip gloss and the chlorine from the pool and before it can turn into anything other than a chaste re-familiarizing of their lips, Penelope pulls away.

"Oh." It's all she says and Josie can't tell if it's good or bad but her traitorous mind tells her it's bad and she wonders if she's capable of drowning herself right here, right now.

"Sorry! Sorry, that was — that was so stupid of me to do. I just — I was thinking about that one time at camp and got caught up in the moment and you called me JoJo and your eyes look incredible in the moonlight and — you know, I wouldn't blame you if you kicked me out right now so — "

"Oh my god Josie, just shut up." Penelope's hands grab Josie's face and pull her against her lips. Josie completely lets her take the lead this time, content to keep up with whatever pace she decides to set.

Josie doesn't think it's fair to compare, especially because it's not like she's kissed that many people, but out of all of the people she _has_ kissed, Penelope is definitely the best of the bunch.

Landon kissed just fine, but he would do it in a way that made Josie feel like she was fragile. He'd press his lips against hers almost like he was afraid she might break. It was sweet — loving even, but it was more than lacking in the passion department.

Penelope, though, seems to have nothing _but_ passion. Her hands move from Josie's face to the back of her neck to pull her closer even though they were already impossibly close. It's all the perfect movement of lips and tongues and the occasional nip of teeth like they'd been doing this their whole lives, and it stirs something inside of Josie she doesn't think Landon even came close to reaching.

Just as Josie's made peace with letting herself suffocate because she'd rather that than break away from Penelope's lips to get even the tiniest bit of air, Penelope vetoes that decision for her by pulling herself away from Josie.

(And Josie is not too proud of the whine that escapes her when Penelope does separate from her, but in her defense, she really didn't want to stop kissing her.)

"We should, uh — we should go inside," Penelope says, breath coming in ragged spurts. She was _breathless_ and Josie thinks it's absolutely _beautiful_.

"Penelope Park, are you inviting me upstairs?" Josie waggles her eyebrows, not caring about how corny she probably sounds right now. She's sort of on cloud nine.

Penelope shakes her head — though she looks so stupidly endeared Josie could probably sing now — and swims over to the edge of the pool to get out. She waits for Josie, offering a hand to help pull her up.

"You're such a dork," Penelope says, using her discarded sweatshirt as a makeshift towel and wrapping it around Josie's shoulders. "You've been upstairs before."

"Yeah, but that was when we were kids. It's different now that we're older and it's just you and me and your parents aren't home and you just kissed me like _that_ and — " Josie gasps rather dramatically. "You're trying to take advantage of me aren't you?"

"I'm really just trying to get you dry, least you catch your death," Penelope responds, still working on getting Josie at least halfway dry. "After that we'll see if I'm the mood to try and corrupt you."

Penelope _winks_ and Josie thinks she might spontaneously combust if they don't get inside right this second. The two girls hurry to go from the chilly night air to the slightly less chilly inside of Penelope's house. They're absolutely soaked, of course, but once Penelope shuts the sliding doors behind them, she reaches out to pull Josie in for another kiss and — really, she was probably just being smart and thinking of ways they could share body heat. Josie has to commend her for that.

The journey upstairs would probably have been less daunting — Josie slips not once but twice on the staircase; luckily she falls right into Penelope's arms so it's not so bad — had they been able to stop trying to kiss one another just until they made it to the second floor, but that honestly wasn't realistic.

When they do finally make it there, Penelope turns into the sensible one of the two of them and pulls away from Josie's lips just long enough to lead them to her bedroom. Josie takes a second to look around, pinpoint all the ways it's changed since she last saw it when Penelope was barely a teenager.

There's a lot fewer photos of friends which makes Josie a bit sad. She wasn't arrogant enough to think she, Lizzie and MG were Penelope's only friends — she literally had a group of girls that followed her around school like obedient lapdogs, but maybe those weren't what one would consider friends — but judging by the lack of real evidence to the contrary, maybe that wasn't such a far fetched idea.

The rest of the room is a lot neater than Josie expected given that the girl she knew growing up was always good for a little haphazard mess. Penelope's desk is meticulously organized, her cheerleader uniform hangs pristinely on her closet door, her bed is perfectly made and Josie wonders if Penelope feels as much of a stranger living in this room as Josie feels just standing here.

"Uh, here," Penelope interrupts Josie's covert snooping and appears at her side, a stack of haphazardly folded clothing and a towel in her hands. She seems unusually nervous in a very un-Penelope Park way and it makes Josie's heart flutter knowing she was the reason. "You can change in my bathroom, I'm gonna go use my parents'. If you get done before I get back you can, um — I mean go ahead and lay down or, whatever. Or you can sit, too. I'm not saying you _have_ to get in bed, just — "

Josie stops her rambling — she made Penelope _ramble_ ; how _cute_ — by covering her hand with her own. "Pen, I'll figure it out. Just go change. We're kind of messing up your nice floors."

Penelope nods, her cheeks tinting the slightest shade of pink, before she leans over and pecks Josie's cheek before leaving her alone to change.

Once Josie dries off and slips on the pajamas, she realizes the shorts Penelope gave her were probably a little _too_ short and the shirt rode up slightly on her stomach, but it was fine. They were Penelope's and Josie was _wearing_ them so they were absolutely more than fine.

Josie plops down on Penelope's bed, taking the moment alone to unabashedly turn her face into one of the pillows just because it smells just like Penelope's shampoo and it may or may not be one of Josie's favorite smells.

Her more logical brain is screaming at her to snap out this lovey-dovey daze because her phone keeps lighting up from its place on top of Penelope's bedside table. She's no doubt getting several hundred text messages from Lizzie and her dad and probably Rafael, too, wondering if she made it home in one piece. She should care that it's late at night and she's just made out with her former best friend and she's in said former friend's bed, in _her_ clothes. She should be worried about the monumental fallout this was surely going to cause. 

But she isn't.

Josie doesn't care about any of that because she's in Penelope's clothes in Penelope's bed and her lips feel slightly puffy from all of that kissing and she's just waiting for the shorter girl to come back already because it's been, like, five minutes but she misses her already.

So _this_ is what she's like when she's not pretending to hate Penelope then. A cheesy sap. Good to know.

Before Josie can go full on Nicholas Sparks in her own head, the bedroom door swings open and Penelope walks in, toweling off her hair. She takes one look at Josie, all soft and fond before she rolls her eyes.

"Really? You're really putting your giant wet head on my pillows?" She says before tossing the towel off to the side and sliding in next to Josie. They're both on top of Penelope's fancy super soft bedding but that certainly doesn't stop Josie's heart from beating a thousand miles a second.

"I had the wherewithal to dry my hair first, okay? Do I look like an idiot?" Josie defends herself, even going as far as to show Penelope some of her semi-dry brunette locks.

"No, not at all," Penelope answers as she reaches over and moves Josie's hair behind her ear. It's such a simple action but it makes Josie want to literally swoon. God, she's really becoming a total melt at a record pace. "But speaking of how you look, you do look pretty hot in my clothes, JoJo."

"I swear if you tell me I'd look better out of them, I'm going to leave."

"Do you really think I'm that corny? Honestly, it's gonna hurt my feelings if you do — "

"Oh shut up," Josie rolls her eyes and reaches her hand over to the back of Penelope's neck to pull her toward her lips. She really cannot get enough of them at the moment.

Penelope's lips trail from Josie's to her chin to her jaw and to her neck and — Josie doesn't know how she ever thought Landon could be _The One_ when kissing him never felt remotely like this.

"My parents are gonna be gone until tomorrow afternoon so, can you stay the night?" Penelope asks in a hushed whisper against the curve of Josie's collarbone. Josie nods, though it's more of an impulsive reaction because — really, if she stayed the night her dad was _sure_ to kill her in the morning, but who is she to turn down Penelope when she's currently kissing on Josie's neck like she is? "You sure? You're not gonna get in trouble with your dad? Or Lizzie's not gonna send a swat team out to find you?"

Josie laughs, because the latter was probably more likely to happen than the former. 

"If I get grounded — " Josie's train of thought gets momentarily interrupted when Penelope nips at a particularly sensitive patch of skin beneath her earlobe — great, she's probably gonna have to explain to her dad why she stayed out all night with a nice little hickey as an accessory — and she temporarily forgets how to speak. The knowledge does eventually return to her, though. "If I get grounded or hunted down by the FBI, it'll be worth it."

Josie takes her hand and sneaks it up the front of Penelope's shirt. She touches nothing but soft skin and taut abs and when her nails scratch gently above the waistband of the girl's shorts, the giggle (it was actually more of a yelp followed by a highly unattractive snort but Josie never finds anything unattractive about her) that leaves Penelope's mouth kind of takes all of the heat out of the moment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," Penelope apologizes, leaning back on her elbow. "I'm just actually really ticklish."

"It's fine," Josie assures her and makes sure to file that whole ticklish thing away to take advantage of some other time. "We should probably slow down, anyway. As much as I'd like to, I don't think it'd be wise of us to stay up all night making out."

And this time, it's Penelope who ends up pouting for a change. But she eventually acquiesces and rolls over to grab the remote off of her nightstand.

"Well since you've taken all of the fun activities off the table," she says, waving the remote so Josie can see. "How about a little Netflix and...cuddle?"

Josie grins and nods before snuggling into Penelope's side. "Oh! Let's watch The Office — "

Penelope interrupts her by placing her free hand over Josie's mouth. "No, absolutely not. I love you and all, JoJo, but I'm not watching The Office. It's my TV and I say we're gonna watch Great British Bake Off."

"Really, Pen? A baking show?" Josie scoffs and that's all it really takes for the two girls to start bickering over what to pick on the streaming app.

And as silly as it might be, Josie feels happy like this. There's this feeling of total contentment over her, like she's truly relaxed for the first time in a very long time. For so many years it felt like she was holding her breath, scared of what might happen if she let it out, but here with Penelope — even if they're just arguing over what show should play in the background while they inevitably fell asleep — it feels like Josie's finally exhaling. All of the pressure, the weight, the tension, the emptiness she felt, it was all gone now.

It only took a couple of years, but Josie thinks she's finally right where she was always meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i writing one more chapter when i said this was only gonna be a two-shot? yes, and what about it??? sorry i just....i gotta at least let the kiddos graduate high school ok.
> 
> thank u all for being patient while i took forever to update. love u and thanks for reading!!


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